Parenting is a complicate job. There’s no
perfect and specific instruction about it.
It’s necessary to say that as raising
children is a complicate job, there’s no perfect and specific instruction about
it.
However, to be a good father/mother, we
have to read lots of books, newspapers, ask many people for advice and
opinions. The more we get to know it the more information we found that is not
reasonable. Therein, 6 raising children ways below tend to bring bad effects.
Giving children too much
All parents love their children. That makes
them have the idea that the more they give the better their children will be
for example, buy many toys for their children, let children sleep too much and
play game all day…
Some of them even think that refusing
children’s requires is similar to hurting the children and turn themselves into
their children’s enemies. However, contrary to the concepts above, the more
they give the less they receive and their children have more bad and stable
habits, such as asking for materials, money…
You
shouldn’t buy too much toys for your children.
Solution
Parents should limit satisfying children’s
material needs. For example, you can limit buying toys for your children and
only buy toys in the appropriate time. If you just go with unreasonable
requires of children, you have to work harder or reduce other expenses.
Furthermore, children won’t be able to understand the money value; they tend to
have bad habits and finally turn out to be dreamers.
Giving
too much to children can make them misbehaved.
Lacking discipline
Many families have lax discipline. For
example, if children in this family bully other children, their parents will
praise them instead of educating. This is an inconsiderate doing and will cause
stable bad habits to children.
In fact, there’re parents that can’t
distinguish what is right and wrong when applying discipline on the children;
they don’t know how to mold children’s characters when they were young, which
leads to the fact that in the long run, they can cause serious consequences
that might be illegal. Because parents don’t show them the obvious line that
separates good and evil, they can accidental make them naughty.
You
need to create clear and consistent discipline in raising children.
Solution
You need to create clear and consistent
discipline in raising children. If children do something wrong in public,
classes or at home, parents have to teach them the right thing to do
specifically so that they can understand and recognize their wrong.
Always standing for children
In the case parents always stand for their
children without concerning whether it’s right or wrong. For example, when
teachers of their children and neighbors complain about the children’s bad
behaviors, they still fight for their children and have extreme actions.
Some people even ignore their children’s
faultiness on purpose and don’t show any in-time molding. In the worse
situation, they even consider their children to be the best and their
children’s faultiness is due to other people. The result of the fact that
children are getting deeper into the wrong and continue doing bad things will
gradually lead them to trespass and make them become bad citizens.
Solution
In the case teachers or babysitters of your
children reflex about your children’s failing, you have to be calm and
carefully consider about what they say, get down to bed-rock to know if it’s
wrong or right instead of getting angry and fighting for your children
blindfold. If what they say is right, it’ll help you to mold your children’s characters.
If
your children are wrong, you shouldn’t be so upset and tell them off or punish
them but should choose the right time to make them understand that what they
did is wrong.
If your children are wrong, you shouldn’t
be so upset and tell them off or punish them but should choose the right time
to make them understand that what they did is wrong. That will help they
improve their characters and you’ll love them more afterwards because the more
important thing is to help them to recognize and redress their mistake with the
support of their parents.
Fighting in front of children
One of parent’s mistakes in raising
children is fighting in front of them. That impolite behavior can cause
negative effects on children’s state of mind.
Children who have to witness parent’s
fights are scared of those fights. They tend to run away and have negative
behavior like being addicted to drug, drop classes or go away from home because
they feel like they’re abandoned and nobody loves them.
Solution
Parents should respect and behave politely
to each other even when there’s no love. You should avoid fighting in front of
children. In the case you’re going to have a divorce, you should be polite and
limit making negative effects on children.
It’s necessary for children to receive
psychological therapies in order not to be shocked when their parents are no
longer live together, to help them recognize the truth and get used to it.
Lacking exemplars
Life is naturally complicated. There’re
married couples who are wrong models for children; they talk to each other
rudely. Those behaviors of parents really fear the children, stay in their
memories and negatively stimulate them to be like their parents.
Do
not let your anger be in charge and using abusive language to blame each other.
Solution
You should behave normally and politely to
each other. Do not let your anger be in charge and using abusive language to
blame each other. If your relationship is too intense, releasing each other is
good for you and your children.
Playing the “shadow” role
One of biggest mistake that happens in the
modern world or the era of market economy is many parents just play the
“shadow” roles and give no care to their children, drop the raising
responsibility on grandparents’, relative’s or nanny’ lap.
They choose to have the freedom in earning
money and enjoy the beer and kittles. According to psychologists, children need
maternal love and if they don’t receive it when they’re young, their
recognition will be falsified and go to unexpected places.
No
matter how busy you are, you should spend time will children to take care of
them.
Solution
No matter how busy you are, you should
spend time will children to take care of them. That will help them to develop
the mother-child connection and their talents, improve their disadvantages and
the natural bad habits.
This is an important part of life so
raising children and taking care of them are essential aims and able to improve
human natural disadvantages.
