A bond that lasts
A father’s influence can have various
positive outcomes as in the two following cases. Dekhi-base criminal lawyer V.
Madhukar didn’t mind coming back home twice or thrice a day form his chambers
to look after his 1-year-old son Devarya (now 3). “My wife’s office was in
Gurgaon, so it didn’t make sense to leave our son with the babysitter for 8 to
10 hours when my workplace was so close. Even today, I’m always at hand in case
I’m needed. This has actually given my son s number of opportunities to share
his most private things with me. For instance, when we go for a walk, he
initiates a conversation which could range from a complaint about his school
teacher, or an account of why he was scolded in class,” says Madhukar.
Ipshita Ghosh, 7, from Raipur, was never a
sporty kid, as her dad recalls. “I was in manufacturing, and my line of work
demanded a lot of travel. But while my daughter never really showed any signs
of loneliness because of my absence, her mother told me that she was spending
much more time indoors in front of the TV and computer, than playing outdoors.
That’s when I decided to get involved, and started playing ‘catch’ with her
just to spark an interest. Today, she loves playing cricket with her friends in
the colony park,” says her happy dad.
When a father gets involved wholeheartedly,
it starts manifesting in the overall personality of the child. Shah states that
a “child starts blossoming”. She adds that a father plays a unique role in a
child’s life, and a lot of studies have proved that a more involved father
could result in a child with a better understanding. Also, since the need of
the hour is to be competitive and achievement-oriented, this involvement is
also helpful in improving a child’s overall development.
Schools are also becoming much more
inclusive of fathers. “My daughter’s school always insists that both Mom and
Dad mark their presence for PTMs,” says Puri-based Kedar Ojha. While this may
not be the case with each and every school, Nath says that many shools are
trying to focus on ideal parent, and appreciate it when the father takes out
time for his children.
The added advantage
Although there is a huge overlap in roles
today, especially since both parents are working, there are certain skills that
children learn only from a mother, and some only from their fathers. Globally,
research shows that a child learns achievement-oriented skills from his father,
and this learning starts at a very early stage. “When he spends more time with
father, or with his Mon and Dad, a child is likely to have better linguistic
and verbal skills, better self-esteem, higher cognitive capacity, and tends to
form better social connections. Also, right from birth he will be emotionally
more secure, and less likely to go through depression, or masked depression, or
even show any disruptive behavior. All this ultimately leads to a healthier
adolescence and teenage. Toddlers particularly, start school with higher
academic readiness, and separation anxiety is reduced,” adds Shah.
Dad = Fun
These dads make the time to have fun with
their kids.
“I adopted Arjun when he was 2; I was
unmarried then, so I’ve done all that a mom could do. Now, we do a lot of fun
things together – movies, the beach, car races at home. I feel you should look
at your child not as a responsibility but use these moments as an opportunity
to grow with him” – Sandip Soparrkar, choreographer and dad to 7-year-old
Arjun.
“I’m always there for my son during
weekends. He likes to play with Lego and shows me whatever he makes. We play a
lot of cricket. This month, I am planning to go trekking with him. And yes,
this is all minus his mom.”-Anirudh Dhoot, Director, Videocon, dad to
4-year-old Raunak.
