Sometimes, parents have put forward many
rules and forbiddance that make your children very hard-pressed.
Serious
mistake in teaching children
Not keeping calm, complaining and comparing the child to others
incessantly are some mistakes that all parents contract.
1. Incessantly complain
The first mistake is that parents seem to
have many forbidden things to the baby and complain incessantly: “don’t hit
your little brother/sister” or “you mustn’t pull the cat’s tail”.
When parents say “no” regularly, it will
make children become unfeeling to this word. Moreover, parents usually tell
children not to do something but don’t show children what they can do. Therefore,
save the word “no” for dangerous case (for example, while your children get
close to the socket).
2. Use thrashing
Hitting your children can’t solve any
problem. Your children will know that people can settle conflicts by force.
Remember that you’re teaching your children, not enforcing your power to them.
When you yell at your children, they can
also do the same thing to you. This feeling will get stronger day by day and
harder to control, especially when they grow up. Obviously, no parents can
avoid being angry. If you make a slip of the tongue, you should honestly
apologize to your children and fix the mistake afterwards.
Thrashing
doesn’t teach your child how to become a good one.
3. Contradiction in the method of teaching children
To the same behavior of your children, you
show 2 kinds of attitude toward that with 2 kinds of treatments. This will make
your children feel enigmatic and not “admire and respect”.
If you have a time laughing while your
children talk nonsense, but another time you reprimand and use discipline, your
children won’t be able to know what is right. It’s best of you to set rules and
follow these rules strictly with your children.
4. Punish incorrectly
When your children accidentally break
something in the house, you will hit or scold them. This makes them think that
you consider the objects to be more precious than them. When your children feel
sad and break the toys, scolding can’t solve anything. Ask them to save money
to buy new toy.
5. “Label” your children
Don’t unfailingly label your children like
“you are always a hasty and sloppy child”, “you are so absent-minded because
you lose your things all day”… Listen to your children’s opinion before
scolding or giving complement.
6. Compare your children to another person
Don’t ever provoke your children with some
kinds of comparing like “why is your sister good at English but you are not as
good as a half of her?”
The kind of “provoking” comparison almost
have no effect but make the children feel complex, unconfident, jealous and
break the relationships of your children with the compared person.
7. Don’t care about children’s school time.
Beside the family time, school is the place
that has strong attachment to your children. This is also the most influential
place to the formation and development in children’s personality. Therefore, it
will be wrong if you take your children to school, take them back after school
without any concern.
Always spending time getting in touch with
the teacher is an indirect way for you to show concern and love to your
children. Moreover, this will bring practical benefits to you; when creating a
good relationship with the teacher, you will instantly know the unusual
expressions or changes of your children to intervene timely.
8. Say without doing
You ask your children to turn off the TV
but they still watch cartoons due to the mother’s faint reminder. Be patient,
give your children a second chance; ask them strictly that their watching hours
has been over; or the children turn off the TV, or you do it. To make your
children follow the rules, mother’s requests should be clear and she can’t
break them.
9. Can’t keep calm
Although the act of your children can make
you mad, you mustn’t teach them while being mad. Storming, swearing or losing
control while teaching your children will encourage the bad behavior of your
children in their relationship with family or friends such as: yelling, anger
or violence. Instead of that, spend time to calm your mind. When you feel that
you really calm down, talk to your children straightforwardly, softly. The
father’s word will have weight at that moment.
When
you feel that you really calm down, talk to your children straightforwardly,
softly.
10. Not
be a good wife or husband
The way you treat your wife or husband will
affect much in the lifestyle, behavior as well as the relationships of your
children afterwards. If husband and wife always choose fighting as a way to
solve conflicts, for sure, your children will treat their life partner the
same.
If you treat your wife or husband gently,
fine and respectfully, children will know how to cosset the value of family,
fell happier, warmer and safer.
