It’s not uncommon for a bride and her groom to be
honored at numerous pre-wedding events prior to their actual wedding day.
Most are significant to the bride and
grooms, as well as to both families and the wedding party but they should serve
only to complement the wedding and never upstage it.
Bridal showers
Known as “parties with a purpose,” these,
along with formal engagement parties, are usually the first to be scheduled
four to six weeks prior to the ceremony.
While “Miss Manners” might frown upon
immediate family members especially the mother hosting such an event, they may
offer to assist the hostess in an obscure manner.
Showers are meant to help the bride and
groom equip their new home or for the bride to assemble a trousseau.
Today’s showers have taken on multiple
personalities and are as “unique” as the couple. Recipe showers, Kitchen
showers, lingerie showers, garden and camping showers the possibilities are
endless.
The kitchen shower has long been the most
traditional of all, followed by lingerie, which is still among the bride’s
favorites.
The hostess should plan a party that
complements the personality and needs of the couple.
When several showers are planned, each
guest list should be different, no one should feel obligate to attend all and
buy more than one gift.
When the bride lives in a small town, it is
a good idea for several people to host one large event, rather than several
small ones.
Most showers are informal gatherings with a
simple menu, often including cake, mints, nuts and punch, but then again,
consider your honorees.
Handwritten and addressed invitations are
still preferred for formal events.
The bridal brunch
This gathering is often scheduled a day or
two prior to the wedding and offers the bride an opportunity to spend quality
time with her close female friends, family members and bridal party.
Usually scheduled a day or two before the
wedding, it provides an opportunity to relax and enjoy a leisure late morning
meal.
Bridesmaid luncheon
It is a tradition for the bride to host a
midday gathering to express appreciation to her attendants for participating in
her wedding.
However, as traditions do change, the event
could also be an elegant afternoon tea, dinner at a formal restaurant or a meal
served in a private home.
Formality is not the most important issue,
but putting everyone at ease in a relaxing atmosphere is essential.
A luncheon is a perfect time for
introducing out of town attendants, schedule final dress fittings, display wedding
gifts, and present gifts to the attendants.
Jewelry/keepsake items are always popular
selections.
Bachelor party
Having a long time reputation as being the
last chance for the grooms to be out with his attendants as a “free man,” this
is usually hosted by the groom and his best man.
It is the perfect time for him to give
gifts to his attendants, which often include engraved money clips, lighters and
steins.
Themes for these gathering are as
individualized as the men themselves and often stir up conversation for many
days to come.
Rehearsal dinner
Following rehearsal on the eve of the
ceremony, this is a special time for all members of the wedding party to
gather.
Traditionally hosted by the groom’s family,
the dinner is usually held in a private home or restaurant, and again, is as
formal or informal as the host prefers.
All attendants and their spouses or
significant others, the officiate and spouse, as well as all out of town
guests, should be included.
It is customary during the evening, for the
best man to offer a toast to the bride and groom, followed by the groom, who
toasts his bride and her family. Likewise, the bride may then choose to toast
her groom and his family.
An early evening is suggested, as the
events of the next day will be exhausting for everyone involved.
Wedding breakfast
Most often hosted by a friend or neighbor
of the bride, this event honors all these who have come from out of town for
the occasion. Neither are the bride nor the groom expected to attend, in light
of another tradition of not seeing each other until the ceremony, but they may
if they so choose.
The menu may be as simple as quiche and
fruit, or as extravagant as a full service buffet.
This is a good time to review the scheduled
events of the day, leaving no room for questions later concerning arrival time
at the church, photographs, etc
There should be several hours lapse between
the breakfast and the ceremony, to allow everyone the chance to relax and
become refreshed before the ceremony.
