When holidays leave you wishing you’d stayed
at home
Jump the gun
“When the boiler broke in my Turkish
apartment while on holiday, a repairman came to fix it. Standing on the bedside
table, he asked me to hold it steady while he took a look. But when he reached
up I saw a gun in his pocket. I screamed and let go of the table. The repairman
jumped in shock and lost his balance, pulling down my curtains and falling
through the open doors onto the balcony. As I helped him up, I realized the
‘gun’ in his pocket was, in fact, a spanner! Luckily he was OK – and I
pretended I’d seen a cockroach!”
I
realized the ‘gun’ in his pocket was, in fact, a spanner!
Katy, 26, event planner, Lancashire
A wheel fraud
“I was at a small Spanish airport with my
friends waiting for a flight home. I was really hung-over, but there weren’t
any spare chairs so I plonked myself in a nearby wheelchair. The next thing I
knew, I was being wheeled by a stewardess towards the boarding gate! At first I
thought it was funny – but I panicked when she started wheeling me on to the
plane – for the wrong flight (apparently they were expecting a passenger in a
wheelchair and thought it was me). Jumping up, I legged it back to the lounge.
The stewardess looked shocked by my ‘miraculous’ recovery, and I got a proper
telling-off!”
Cathy, 28, beautician, London
Après-flee
“Last year I went skiing with my long-term
boyfriend and his family, planning to spend a week in France over Christmas.
I’d rinsed my savings, but I knew it would be worth it – I was picturing log
cabins, roaring fires and a lot of romance. But two days after we arrived, my
boyfriend sat me down and told me he thought our relationship wasn’t working. I
had to catch a tearful flight home – and his family even had the cheek to ask
me to pay $300 for my ski pass! I had to sell my skis to cover it. Most
expensive break-up ever!”
I
had to sell my skis to cover it. Most expensive break-up ever!
Liz, 23, account manager, Bristol
Flying shame
“I’m a nervous flyer, so when my husband
and I flew to South Africa last year, I took sleeping pills to knock myself
out. I woke up as the plane started to descend, amid really bad turbulence.
Suddenly, I projectile-vomited all over my lap, my husband and our seat
neighbor! We couldn’t clean up in the toilet because the seatbelt sign was on,
so I had to dab everyone with tissues, apologizing profusely. After we landed,
we had to walk through the airport still damp. Not the best start…”
Alexa, 31, nurse, Aberdeen
Breakfast show
“My purse was stolen while I was travelling
and, until my parents could wire me some money, I had nowhere to stay, so I
begged a hostel to let me sleep on the sofa in the dining room. They agreed,
but it was so hot I slept in a vest and knickers under a sheet. I woke up late
the next morning to find myself surrounded by guests eating breakfast, as I lay
sprawled with the sheet on the floor, my vest ridden up and my boobs and pants
on show!”
Neha, 24, recruitment consultant, London
Best foot forward
“Running late for a flight a few years ago,
I was racing through a security scanner when it started beeping. I’ve got
titanium plates in my leg from an injury, so I always carry a doctor’s note,
which was in my bag on the conveyor belt. Lurching over to grab it, I was
suddenly wrestled to the ground by a guard, before being marched through to an
interview room. The guard had thought I’d been grabbing for something other
than a letter. When I showed them the note they apologized and let me go – but
I missed my flight!”
When
I showed them the note they apologized and let me go – but I missed my flight
Nikki, 25, journalist, Durham
Turkish delight?
“When my boyfriend and I went to a Turkish
bath, a male masseur poured a bucket of water on my head to wash my hair. I
looked up at the wrong moment and got a face full of soapy water. Groping
around for a towel, I felt the corner of one and tugged it towards me to dry my
eyes. But when I opened them I realized the towel had been around the masseur’s
waist – and he was now naked with his bits a few inches from my face! Talk
about up close and personal…”
Joanna, 24, teaching assistant, Sunderland
