Giving feedback
Giving feedback isn’t just a great way to help those around
you perform better and achieve more, it is a way to help them to tap into their
full potential and discover aspects about themselves that they weren’t even
aware off. Still, some people find it challenging to give feedback and get
uncomfortable giving it even when it is positive. Here are some common barries
to giving feedback:
·
It is time consuming
·
Unsure about the right way of delivering feedback
·
Fear that the feedback maybe misconstrued
·
Inability to handle the person’s reaction to feedback
·
Fear of hurting other people’s feelings
I learnt several years ago that a good approach is to tell
someone what they did and explain the effect it had on you. Then, if the
feedback is negative, help them to explore alternative ways of doing the same
thing, and if positive encourage the person to continue doing it. Also,
feedback is well-received when it’s a balance of positive and negative.
Sometimes at the workplace or in close relationships, we spend a lot of time
focusing on what someone isn’t doing well and not enough time celebrating the
things that people do well.
Further, to make sure your feedback is constructive, first
ask yourself: will this feedback be useful and, can this person do anything
about it? If the answer to both the questions is a yes, then go ahead and give
the feedback.
Here are some pointers that will help you give feedback
without coming across as offensive.
Choose your timing: Being tactful and respectful when
delivering feedback is crucial. True consideration of the other person’s feeling
is essential if you want to get the best response and make it a positive
experience for the person who is on the receiving end. Unfortunately, I have
witnessed many examples of feedback being delivered at inappropriate times and
having caused negative outcomes.
Be honest and assertive: An honest and assertive
approach will create a win-win outcome. Giving feedback can be awkward and if
it makes you feel as if you are walking on egg shells, it can end up sounding
either passive or even aggressive. Honesty is the best policy as long as it is
delivered with a positive intention.
Make it digestible: Although feedback is the food for
progress, the person may not be able to digest it even if it’s good for her.
Make sure you dilute an overly negative message with a combination of positive
and constructive feedback.
Tune your tone: Not just your words, but the tone and
pitch of your voice too have quite an effect on how your message is perceived.
Maintaining a positive and upbeat tone, helps you be more assertive and
confident. This makes the person receiving the feedback feel positive and
confident too.
Maintain eye contact: Be totally present when you
give feedback and help the person to feel connected to you by maintaining eye
contact. However, don’t overdo it as this can come acroos as being aggressive.
Maintain eye
contact
Focus on the behaviour, not the person: This is
important. Feedback should only be about something that a person can change. If
it is about something that she cannot change, it is not constructive feedback
and will just be perceived as hurtful criticism and will ruin your
relationship.
Let it go: Once you have given your feedback, resist
the need to repeat yourself. Allow the person to absorb the information and
take action. If you have to ask someone to do something four times, I can
promise you that the person in question has heard what you have to say and has
most likely decided not to take on board the suggestions.
Sometimes people don’t immediately recognise how useful
feedback can be. It may take a while for them to reassess and recognise the
positive impact. Give them space.
Feedback is a wonderful tool that if used constructively,
can open doors to amazing possibilities.
