Whether it’s leaving home, finding your
career path or having the most fun possible, turning 18 inevitably brings huge
changes. Four famous women recollect what they were like on the cusp of
womanhood.
‘I’d say: stop smoking. But it would fall on deaf ears!’
Witty and fearless, comedienne Jenny Éclair
has always made us laugh with her stand-up routines and writing. Her latest
book, Life, Death And Vanilla Slices, is out now. But she wasn’t always so
confident in herself…
Jenny
Éclair: “One of the perks of middle age is realizing other women are so your
side”
Being 18 was a heady time. I started at
Manchester Polytechnic School of Theatre after scraping a D and E in my
A-levels, which I was quite pleased with as I managed to pass my English exam
without reading Bleak House at all. I was very into vintage clothes – although
they were called second-hand then – and can remember exactly what I was wearing
on my first day there: a pair of khaki dungarees with an old army shirt of my
dad’s, plus bottle-green stiletto boots and a knitted tie. I also carried a cat
basket as a handbag – and I wore this look for about three months!
I was born in 1960, and when I was growing
up there were no female comics on television, so I didn’t even know that was
something you could do. So I started at drama school thinking I was going to be
a serious actress, as I’d been obsessed with becoming famous since the age of
about four. I was just panic-stricken about exactly when it would happen!
I was incredibly reckless at that age. I
had been in love with my boyfriend back home, but he left me when I was 17.
That combined with starting at uni made me very promiscuous. I was screaming
for attention, but didn’t know how to get it, so I would sleep with men. A lot
of people were behaving like that, too – even the nice girls – because the
atmosphere at drama school was very sexually permissive.
Underneath everything I was very
unconfident, so I chain-smoked. The paraphernalia of smoking was something to
do when I was around boys. But it turned into a terrible addiction that lasted
for 30 years – I would love to have encouraged my younger self not to start,
but she wouldn’t have listened at all! The advice would have gone in one ear
and out the other. I think that every single thing I went through then, I
needed to go through. Although, to be honest, no thing has really changed – I’m
still the same old mix of massive ego and neurotic apologetic mess…
The best thing about not being 18 any more?
Not having that skin-crawling embarrassment of being so self-conscious in your
own body. Also, not thinking other women are enemies. One of the great perks of
being middle-aged is realizing other women are on your side. Feminism comes
much more easily now than to a competitive teenager who wasn’t very socially
aware and thought they were all going to steal her man or her job. I wish I’d
been more true to myself then, but I don’t think I was able to be.
“You’re not the only person who feels like they’re faking
it”
Actress Sally Phillips’ deadpan demeanour
is familiar from TV shows such as Smack The Pony and Miranda, and BBC Radio 4’s
Clare In The Community. Soon To star in new Sky1 comedy Parents, she tells us
why she’s in awe of her 18-year-old self.
Sally
Phillips’
I look back quite admiringly at the
18-year-old me. I had that desire to explore, and was omnivorous for
experience. I was up for anything – I was quite eccentric, dressed in strange
clothes and would do stupid things like climb on top of the college roof.
Everything felt exciting. A university friend asked me recently, “Do you
remember putting a big lump of clay outside your room and saying I couldn’t
come in until I’d made something?” I didn’t remember but it’s very plausible I
did that. I think I’m getting more normal as I get older. Now that I’m a mother
of three boys, I live in the suburbs and hardly ever drink!
I wish I could tell my
18-year-old self
that everyone else around you is bullsh***ing too. I arrived at Oxford
thinking everyone was a genius but I was a fraud who would be unmasked
at any
moment. One time I mentioned to a male friend that I was planning to do
my own
show at the Edinburgh Festival. He fell about laughing, saying, “What
are you
going to do? The Sally Phillips Experience?” I laughed along with him,
although
inside I was mortally wounded and never did end up doing my show. But I
think
it’s important not to feel too bad about your mistakes. And if I hadn’t
been so
scared at uni, I wouldn’t have worked so hard and got a First, which I’m
really
proud of.
A few years ago, my life went through a
perfect storm. My first son, Ollie, has special needs, so I took a few years
out of my career only to find that I couldn’t do the same sort of work as
before. But it makes you realize those old worries matter a lot less. So I’m
beginning to think, should I do “The Sally Phillips Experience” now? The only
things that endure in life are courageous acts – whether they fail or succeed –
and when you have nothing to lose, you’re very brave, but after that you think
you’ve got to keep being “good”. And I don’t think that worked very well for me
– I prefer to feel a bit freer. But I think I’m starting to get that courage
back a bit now.
“You’re gorgeous so stop worrying about it!”
It’s hard to believe that straight-talking
Alex Polizzi, Channel 5’s Hotel Inspector, once felt so self-conscious about
her body.
I went to a strict convent boarding school
and, although I’d been incredibly happy there, during my last couple of years
it had really irked me to be so removed from real life. So at 18, when I
finished my A levels, I decided to take some time off before uni, and had a
whole year of freedom ahead of me.
Alex:
“I look back at old pictures now and see that I was glorious”
I travelled to Southeast Asian with my best
friend Felicia. At the time, it felt like the most daring thing in the world,
because it wasn’t common to take gap years in the 80s. off we went with these
ridiculous rucksacks – we brought everything bar the kitchen sink. We lugged
them through Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia. We spent grubby weeks staying in
disgusting hotels, walking around looking like scuzzbuckets, visiting temples
and meeting all sorts of people. We really did have the best time ever.
My mother was so nervous about my trip that
she had a complete meltdown, but she till let us go. I thought she was mad to
worry, but now when I think of my four-year-old daughter Olga turning 18 and
going off to Indonesia, I can understand how she felt!
Back then I was bigger than I am now, and
quite self-conscious about my weight, so I always covered up in baggy trousers
and long shirts. A lot of my choices about men to go out with were because I
thought they might be the only person who would ever fancy me. I wish I could
tell myself, “You don’t need validation from these twits!” I think it’s sad
that I did myself down. I look at old pictures now and see how silly that was –
I was glorious! If I could tell myself one thing, it would be, “You’re
gorgeous, so don’t worry about it!”
Now, I’ve got the self-confidence that I
just don’t give a toss. I love being 40 – I get up in the morning, drag my aching
body out of bed, get on with things and have a good time. I have a great
relationship with my mother, an amazing sister, a wonderful husband and a
gorgeous daughter. I feel very, very lucky.
“Don’t beat yourself up. It’s going to be all right”
Her 18th year was life-changing
for opera singer Lesley Garrett, who has just released her latest album, A
North Country Lass. Despite the trouble it got her into, she would still advise
her younger self to stay enthusiastic.
Lesley:
“I’d advise my 18-year-old self to say yes to every opportunity”
Two things happened around my 18th
year that changed my whole path. My aunt took me to London to see my first
opera, Madame Butterfly, and I was cast in the role of Eliza in my school’s
production of My Fair Lady. Singing on stage was the best feeling in the world,
and I thought: “I’ve got to do this for a living.”
Music had always been a huge part of my
life – I sang in folk clubs and fronted a pop band – but up until then I’d been
studying sciences at A level. Thankfully my school let me switch to music. When
I won a place to study at the Royal Academy of Music, I was euphoric. I’d
managed to get on the very first rung of the ladder towards my dream.
As a teenage I was very enthusiastic –
never mind half full, my glass was basically not big enough! I wanted more fun,
more excitement, and it got me into trouble all the time. The day before I was
due to audition for my college scholarship I went to the pub with friends from
the local Air Force base where I had a job washing dishes. The airmen mixed me
a noxious concoction of Guinness and spirits, and I was so ill that I almost
blew the most important day of my life. Luckily, I was so excited about it all,
I made it to the audition and won the funds I needed.
The downside of being so passionate was
that I jumped from idea to idea, and person to person. There was a period when
I went out with about four guitarists! I think I’ve become more constant over
the years, but I’d still advise my 18-year-old self to say yes to every opportunity.
And remind her that nobody’s perfect. I’d say to her: “By all means struggle to
improve, but don’t beat yourself up. It’s all going to be all right”.
