Laura Jane MacBeth has one of those
moments…
Okay, so I may have just the teensiest
vested interest here, but – once you’re past the hidzo break-up – there are
loads of properly ace things about being single. You can prioritise your
friends, eat risotto in the bath and never have to choose between ‘fun’ and
‘his family’. You can look forward to all the exciting firsts – date, kiss,
sex, dramatic argument (just me?). Dresses become investment purchases;
entirely impractical underwear assumes a new importance. Everything becomes
infused with a kind of flirty thrill factor and the potential for a
life-changing snog – which could happen AT ANY MOMENT.
Dresses
become investment purchases
But, all this aside, every so often,
various seemingly innocuous factors combine to create a debilitating Being
Single Sucks (BSS) moment. And while I generally try to be the bearer of glad
tidings in this department, I’m in no way immune. Take the other night. With
annoying old moment was there. On a man break after date one-million-and-awful,
I was channeling my disappointment into a run-through of my most comedy
experiences. But just as I’d finished sharing the LOL-worthy details, the
friend of a friend next to me confessed she’d met her boyfriend after a mere
five dates. Which triggered a tale of a girl who’d taken out a dating-site
subscription only to meet someone on date one. And they were now living together!
And so it went upsettingly on. Now, I knew they were trying to make me feel
better about dating. But all I could hear was, “EVERYONE ELSE HAS MANAGED TO
FIND A BOYFRIEND – WHY CAN’T YOU? LOSER?
everyone
else has managed to find a boyfriend – why can’t you? loser?
And this is the problem with BSS moments:
you never know when they’re going to hit. If you could just schedule in some
BSS time along with ‘go to the gym,’ ‘pick up some muffins’ and ‘ignore the gas
bill,’ I wouldn’t mind too much. In fact, I’d buy some extra chocolate, get on
the giant sofa and enjoy it. But actually, while BSS moments aren’t fun, the
good news is they’re easily dealt with. Thus:
- Hang out with a (not new) couple. As you
observe squabble number eight trillion, you’ll feel a lot better about
singledom.
- Play the ‘What would I give up for a
boyfriend?’ game. Your dream job? Your laptop? You’ll find there are all
manner of things you wouldn’t ditch for something as ordinary/annoying as
a boyfriend.
- Remember you could easily have a boyfriend.
If you were prepared to go out with Old Annoying Face. Or Mr Weird Ears.
Or Exclamation Mark Man!!!!! But – thank goodness – you’re not.
- Instead of focusing on what you don’t
have, think about what you do. That so-cute-it’s-illegal new dress. The
underwear that’s essentially stitched-together candyfloss. And a date with
Beardy McHandsomeson. And have a big exciting old BSIFB moment to yourself
(I’ll let you guess that one)
