Confident is the key character that can
decide success or failure of children when they grow up.
Every mother who has a daughter will hope
their daughters to be smart and strong, but in a world full of constant updates,
children can receive messages from all kind of sources, such as at school, from
friends, books, television’s programs…, which makes it harder to teach a girl
to be confident and brave.
Being
confident, children can do everything.
It’s not a secret that children learn the
most about themselves by the way their parents communicate with them. According
to Care.com, in America, when asked what adjective that participating moms call
their daughters, the majority of them (54%) answered “beautiful”, while the
answers of 15% of them is “intelligent”. What message that we’re really sending
to them while a good outlook is over-concentrated?
“Beautiful”
is the most popular adjective that parent call their daughters.
Though telling your children that they are
beautiful is not harmful, but you shouldn’t let them think that “being beautiful”
is the only point that we highly appreciate. If the faith in appearance is the
only thing that creates the characters and confidence of children, it’d be
dangerous to their psychological development. We all know that there’s always
someone who are better, more beautiful than we are, not to mention that
children will soon recognize that the mother’s judgment is hardly
objective.
A
confident girl will be more independent.
One of the good ways to teach a girl to
love herself and be confident and strong is to recognize their advantages. The
messages are from parents, so they have to be encouraging, be able to support
children and honest at the same time; do not lie in everything or make it up.
Keep telling your children that they’re
beautiful, but let them know that the beauty comes from the outlook,
personalities and acts. The way they think and behave will greatly affect the
way they’re recognized.
Let
them know that the beauty comes from the outlook, personalities and acts.
Share children’s passion. You’ll have a
better connection with children if you remember their habits and interests. By
doing this, you’re showing your respect to children; children will understand
that you care about their feelings and interests.
Help your daughters to own their advantages
with pride (it could be being good at coloring, doing math quickly, or having a
talent in cooking…). Remember that there’re differences between confidence and
arrogance.
Encourage your children, listen to them and
don’t preach, let them understand what’s happening in their world. Share your
childhood memories to prove that you do empathize with their situation.
You’ll
have a better connection with you children if you remember their habits and
interests.
Encourage, or if you can, let your children
join with you on doing some simple skills of the real life like replace the
lamp, or maintain vehicles... That work has always been considered to belong to
men, hasn’t it?
Point out the positive female models when
you and your children read, watch news together. Not only does it show your
children that everything is possible, but it also encourages talks about the
way those female gain the success. Don’t keep telling children that they’re
successful just because they’re good at learning, hard-working, but you should
focus on the details like “when she was at your age, she really liked reading
adventure and discovery books”.
Point
out the positive female models when you and your child read, watch news
together.
Share your methods about building your
daughter’s confidence to other adults that are able to affect your girl. One
important thing is that daughters need receiving consistent messages from other
people, especially from the ones that have influence on them, such as grandma,
teachers or caregivers…
Finally, encouraging the faith of your
daughters also relates to the way we feel about ourselves, and to the pride in
our abilities. There’re reasons that family is said to be a home, a base that
help a person become good.
