| Q: |
Sometimes my baby cries and turns away when I give him a toy. What does this mean?
| | A: |
Timing is everything when you introduce a new toy or game. If
your baby is ready to sleep or has been playing for a while, a new
activity is likely to be overstimulating, and he may cry and turn away
rather than play. Don’t be disheartened; simply wait until he’s well
rested and gently introduce the item again later.
Take it slowly when you
bring a toy into view. If you move something noisy or colorful too
quickly into his line of sight or place a bright mobile very abruptly
overhead, your baby could be startled and upset. Just imagine if
something half the size of your body was suddenly put within a few
inches in front of your face, and you’ll understand how he feels!
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| Q: |
I have less time to spend with my baby because I work. Will this affect her development?
| | A: |
There is much debate about whether it is the quality or the
quantity of parent–child time that is important to your baby’s
development. The answer is simple: Your baby both needs intense periods
of playtime with you, and will appreciate simply snuggling up doing very
little, or watching you as you go about your chores. It is only if you
find yourself at one extreme or the other—avoiding interacting with her,
or being a slave to stimulating her every moment of the day—that you
need to review the situation and adjust the balance.
You can make the
most of your time together by concentrating on what your baby is doing.
Research tells us that, during playtime with your baby, she will benefit
most when you are focused on her rather than trying to do two things at
once. For example, if you are joining in with her activity but watching
TV over her shoulder or chatting on the phone, her play will be less
complex and she’ll be aware that your attention is not wholly on her.
One technique to keep you “in the moment” with your child is to give a
running commentary of what she is doing. This simply involves
describing, rather than making suggestions—for example, saying, “Oh,
you’re putting the cars on the mat” but avoiding prompts like “Why don’t
you line the cars up over there?” This way she is leading her own
activity but is fully aware that you’re with her as she does so.
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| Q: |
My baby hates bathtime. How can I make it fun?
| | A: |
Often bathtime distress is related to the sensation of being
undressed, feeling a little cold, or having a sense of falling or being
out of contact with you as he is placed into the water. Increase his
confidence by keeping him wrapped up until you’ve got everything ready
for his bath and making sure the room is warm. Undress him quickly and
calmly, and hold him firmly as you put him in the water. If he cries,
hold him close and keep talking in a slow and soothing tone. You can
also try getting in the bathtub yourself, with your baby on your lap. If
bathtimes are very stressful, reduce them to once every two days and
“top and tail” your baby in between. Don’t give up: As he develops more
control over his body, he’ll feel safer in the bath and may grow to
tolerate (if not enjoy) the experience. From the age of three months
onward, you might bring a playful element into bathing by introducing
some water toys. Start with simple plastic ducks and floating toys that
are suitable and safe for his age. From six months old, add plastic cups
for filling and pouring. Children tend to love containers with holes,
such as those used for packing berries, because they empty out in an
interesting fashion.
Remember: Never leave
your infant alone in the bath for even a moment. A baby can drown in
under a minute, and in less than an inch (2.5 cm) of water.
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| Q: |
Can I turn my baby into a genius through extra play?
| | A: |
You can certainly help your baby develop by providing him with
plenty of age-appropriate toys and activities, and by speaking and
singing to him. Remember that much of what he can achieve in his first
year is dependent on the gradual acquisition of skills, such as physical
coordination. For example, while you can stimulate reaching and
grasping by supplying plenty of attractive toys, your infant must have
gained voluntary control over his arms to make the most of this
activity. Overstimulating your child—by presenting him with things to
see and do when he is tired or needs comfort—can lead to distress. Wait
for your baby’s signs that he wants to play, and then he’ll make the
most of the toys and activities you offer. As your baby grows, he’ll be
able to stay awake and concentrate for longer periods, so be realistic
about what you can do with him at first. A newborn can only maintain the
alert state that is ideal for learning for about 30 minutes at a time
between sleeping and feeding. The range of educational material
available for babies, such as training DVDs and baby flash cards may
give you a sense that traditional play isn’t enough to give your child a
head start. Research suggests otherwise. It has been found that infants
presented with baby-training DVDs have ten percent fewer words in their
vocabulary than those who don’t watch this material. Watching a screen
is a very passive exercise: It is your time, attention, and a wide
variety of play, speech, and stimulation, given without pressure to
perform and achieve, that creates the best start for your infant.
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NOTE
You are your child’s favorite playmate—she delights in your attention
Communicating with your child What about “baby signing”?
Learning to communicate is a
complex and exciting process which progresses at great speed throughout
your baby’s first year. You’ll experience highs and lows, the elation as
she offers her first smile and the frustration of trying to correctly
interpret her cries. It’s no wonder, therefore, that baby signing, also
known as symbolic gesturing, has been so popular in recent years as its
proponents promise easier communication with your baby.
| Q: |
What is baby signing?
| | A: |
Baby signs are based on a system of sign language developed
originally to assist communication when people suffer deafness or, in
some cases, learning difficulties. In baby signing, these have been
adapted into a program of hand movements specifically for babies, each
gesture representing a word or idea.
Baby-signing
practitioners suggest starting to teach your baby at around six months
of age. Classes, DVDs, and books are available to help you learn this
method. Baby-signing practitioners report that the program allows babies
to express themselves earlier than they otherwise would, and to
experience less frustration. For example, she will be able to tell you
she wants a drink by giving you the sign for “milk.”
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| Q: |
Is it really necessary?
| | A: |
There is great debate about the value of baby signing. Gestures,
facial expressions, and speech are a crucial part of any parent–child
interaction and occur naturally in the communication process. Replacing
them or focusing a lot of attention on a system which concentrates
closely on hand movements is of concern to a significant group of speech
and language therapists. Many recommend that the frequent use of
natural gestures and quality interaction is best for language
development.
If your child is at
risk for delayed speech and language development, for example as a
result of hearing or other difficulties, then sign language can be a
valuable addition to her care. Discuss this with your speech and
language professional.
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| Q: |
What to do?
| | A: |
Your most important tool in the development of your baby’s
communication skills is your own frequent interaction with her, using
eye contact, gestures, touch, speech, and song to encourage and teach.
It is up to you whether you choose to add baby signing to the range of
skills you teach your baby. If you do try this system, include it as an
additional area of learning.
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Talking to your baby
Gestures, facial
expressions, and verbal communication are all part of the two-way
conversation with your infant. Baby signing can add to this, rather than
replace it.
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