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Parenting methods of the Japanese have 5 interesting characteristics.

Here is a synthesis of 5 different important rules of child education from the east and west

Parenting methods of the Japanese have 5 interesting characteristics.

Parenting methods of the Japanese have 5 interesting characteristics.

The battle of lunch box

Most of my American friends have several remarkable stories about helping children sleep separately. They often talk about this with pride and humor, about the difficulties that they have to suffer from when they try to get their children sleep alone, separately from the cradle.

On the contrary, the stories about getting children into bed and their sleeping schedules always bore us while the Japanese moms never have to tell aloud to their children about this. If you’re raising your children in Japanese, foods will be the ones which obsess you the most.

The Japanese plan to absorb 30 different kinds of foods into the body every day. They have many ways to get their children eating vegetables without any doubt. I saw cakes made from spinach, attractive plane-shape carrot cuts or Hello Kitty cauliflower.

Look at the lunch box, people can judge the abilities of raising children of a Japanese mom.

Look at the lunch box, people can judge the abilities of raising children of a Japanese mom.

The “cute lunch box fight” start getting harder when your children in kindergarten. The battle won’t stop unless the children go to college. If you’re a mom in Japan, you will be silently judged on the ability of making attractive and nutritious lunch box.

You can choose not to take part in the battle if you raise children in other country. Like an English friend of mine explained: “I’ll pretend not understanding the obligation that I don’t agree with. However, after considering about the fact that Japanese take the food issue seriously, I want to politely ask you to wear your apron on and take part in the battle.

“Escalator school” and “Kyoiku Mama”

Kyoiku Mama is a phrase that is used to mention about moms that are obsessed with education. When Japanese men have to work all day, the parenting responsibility completely belongs to mothers. Some people carry out the responsibility with strictness of a samurai.

While American or Canadian parents often apply the methods learned from the Mensa notebook on their 3-year-old children or let the children listen to Baby Einstein when they’re just as big as a pea in their mother’s womb, in Japan, with the not-a-second-chance school system, Japanese moms’ craziness for the education is a familiar concept.

The madness early comes from the final aim of getting into escalator schools. “Escalator school” is a school system that includes all the school levels, from kindergarten to university.

Famous universities are always aims of moms who are dubbed “Kyoiku mama”.

Famous universities are always aims of moms who are dubbed “Kyoiku mama”.

Most of us – foreign moms in Japan all try our best on making our children get into school that use our mother language and many of us choose must choose home based learning.

Being a teacher, I refuse making any specific advice about raising children and educating them. It’s simple because there’re many right ways to do so. Every mom has to make their own research, review, consideration and struggle with specific choice in this country.

Remember when your little angle start speak meaningful words is when you have to think about difficult choices in educating and being moms in Japan – those choices seem to be completely different from the ways you were raised at your country.

Mom’s patience

There’s one thing that I hardly agree with the most is the common sense of Japanese about being moms, which is the complete trust in patience. I was carefully trained in the way to raise children so that they can adapt to living in a big family that was full of cousins in America. I was trained to be a babysitter who knew how to give advice about renting camp and camping. I teach swimming and other subjects. Nonetheless, I never see any American mother who can keep her calm and be willing to accept the aggressive actions of her angry child.

However, during many years raising my children in Japan, I have witnessed many views that are typical for the patience of Japanese moms.

I have witnessed many views that are typical for the patience of Japanese moms.

I have witnessed many views that are typical for the patience of Japanese moms.

The patience the Japanese has may come from their mothers

My surprise gradually becomes understanding or agreement. I figure out the tolerance of Japanese moms and recognize it can express the strength of them. I learned that we shouldn’t punish children when they have aggressive actions. I learned to be calm, hold their hands tight and wait till the feelings are gone, which I observe a Japanese mom did. I learned that patience is a mom’s characteristic, but above all, I know that there’s no common formula to express mom’s love. There’re only things that suit to you and your children.

Tacit rules

To be a mom here, you have to know that there’re always rules in Japan. Though they’re not announced but, you have to follow. It could be wearing shoes in the house, tailoring the school bag that ought to be under the span and spread standard, doing volunteers for school’s soccer teams or the way Japanese school cope with bullying. In addition, there’re strict rules about sports and extracurricular activities, which many of us can’t understand.   

You need to know about silent rules if you want to be a mom in the country.

You need to know about silent rules if you want to be a mom in the country.

Before you let you children attend in any course or school in Japan, do researches on all of the silent rules, expecting problems before they happen and have a talk with your husband about solutions. Don’t wait till you meet them in way. Prepare for the obstacles that surely appear and make plans to prevent them.

Society is more important than husband

West people have a concept that is the conjugal relationship is a basement of a family. A happy and good relationship between husband and wife will foster the relationship between parents and children, and keeping the relationship after their children move out is one of the most important things. It’s necessary to spend time with their behalf a part from the time with their children is an essential element to maintain a happy family.

Nevertheless, once you’re a mom in Japan, you’re no longer a real behalf of your husband. You will be more likely a mom of your children. You will often communicate with other moms whose children are your children’s friends and your husband will join the office. The hole separating Japanese married couple gets bigger gradually as the society encourages it to be.

You should look for the benefits of you and your husband to keep family happiness despite the disapproval of society.

You should look for the benefits of you and your husband to keep family happiness despite the disapproval of society.

You should look for the benefits of you and your husband to keep family happiness despite the disapproval of society. When there was no support of babysitter in the first 8 years of our children, I and my husband had to create some ways to refresh out relationship. We had personal date like watching movies at home when all the kids were sleeping or walk along the beach in the early morning. In any country, parent’s jobs always affect the conjugal relationship but, in Japan, you have to work harder to protect it.

Wherever you are – East or West, North or South, in Japan or any place else, have a toast for the parent’s day in May and be thankful about all the restless efforts of your parents.

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