| Q: |
What can I do to manage video gaming safely with my two sons?
| | A: |
Help your boys to choose age-appropriate games and websites by
taking into account each individual child’s temperament and
developmental stage in your decision-making. An energetic, fiery child
may well get over-excited and a little aggressive after playing a war
game, so you will need to be cautious about what you allow him to play
and for how long.
Give yourself the
opportunity to be involved in choices about games and websites by
making sure that both boys ask permission from you to play, to go
online, and to download material. Set time limits and stick to them.
Play games together, learn together, and keep an eye on solitary gaming
activity. It is not necessarily bad: You wouldn’t stop a child from
reading alone for hours on end if he was into a really good book and you
had no concerns about his social development. But make sure that the
games console is kept in a communal area so that you can keep an eye on
what each boy is playing and how it might be affecting him.
Nearly all games now
have age classifications stated on the packaging, so check these before
you buy. There are helpful online information sites for parents about
safe gaming, and the industry is building in safety measures such as
parental control on gaming platforms. However, you do need some
knowledge in order to use these effectively; you cannot rely on the
industry to keep your children safe.
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| Q: |
What are your views on the influence TV has on children?
| | A: |
Some people are worried about television enforcing certain
stereotypes and prejudices in society. However, there is no evidence to
support the argument that the more TV children watch, the more likely
they are to conform to gender stereotypes. The portrayal of more
positive roles on television for certain groups such as disabled people
and ethnic minorities may actually have a positive impact on children’s
views. They also may have a more positive impact on adult’s views, and
it may be via the adult that the child’s view is formed rather than
directly through the influence of television. Children are more likely
to be influenced by TV portrayals that are similar to the environment
that they live in. The clear message is the crucial role parents play in
mediating the effects television may have on their children. Parents
can limit the time children spend watching, they should monitor and
control their choice of shows, and, most significantly, recognize that
their own behavior and attitudes are more influential on their children
at this age than television will ever be.
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| Q: |
How can I protect my child from stranger danger?
| | A: |
We hear about predatory adults who go onto children’s networking
sites, posing as children, to access their targets. Those
characteristics that might make a child vulnerable to this kind of
approach in everyday life will also make him vulnerable online.
However, we must keep a
sense of proportion—although the negative potential is evident, the
reality of actual harm is very low. Children aged between eight to 10
are unlikely to be interested in such risky behavior, and can be managed
with sensible advice and close monitoring. Ensure that they use public
chat rooms that are well moderated and that they learn to look out for
signs that someone is not who they say they are. Establish as common
practice the rule that no personal information is given out, including
email addresses.
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| Q: |
My 10-year-old is really into online gaming in a kind of imaginary world. Will this do him any harm?
| | A: |
The new world of online gaming offers extraordinary opportunities
for players to take on new personalities, referred to as avatars, in
three-dimensional virtual worlds and to play interactively with known
and unknown others via the internet. This means your son enters a
fantasy universe with a self-created identity, builds homes,
communities, and worlds, and enacts battles and adventures with friends
and possibly strangers. At 10, he may not be able to fully differentiate
between fact and fantasy, and he may also not be able to make sound
judgments about the people he meets in his virtual world. He may also
encounter material online that is inappropriate for his age.
On the other hand, he may
benefit hugely from creating this new identity and being part of
enacting colorful adventures. As his parent, you must judge from what
you know about his character and his maturity and decide to set some
limits upon his behavior. If he will comply with your safety
requirements and share some of his world with you, so that you can stay
involved and informed, you may feel good about letting him proceed. You
might consider joining the game yourself—this way, you will probably be
able to monitor his interactions more effectively.
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| Q: |
Is it true that watching TV might make my child violent?
| | A: |
There is a commonly held belief that television is bad for
children. Television watching is blamed for, among many other social
ills, childhood obesity, passive absorption of mindless programming,
creating an endless desire for material goods, perpetuating social
stereotyping, and encouraging violent behavior.
Since the
explosion of television ownership and viewing in the 1950s, much
research has been done on the feared influence TV has had on growing
brains and bodies. To date this research remains complex and
inconclusive. It is often misunderstood, overly simplified, and
misrepresented to support the prevailing zeitgeist. What we can safely
conclude is that television can have an effect on the social behavior of
children, but this will depend very much on the particular child and
factors such as his age, gender, social background, and on the
preexisting level of behavior being affected (i.e academic achievement
or aggressive behavior).
Some research studies
suggest that watching violent programs in already-aggressive boys is
associated with increases in aggressive behavior. However, there may be
other factors influencing aggressive boys that will have more of an
influence on their behavior, such as the environment in which they live
or their interactions with others. Interestingly, watching informative
programs at age five was related to improved school grades later on for
boys, while watching violent programs at age five was related to poor
school grades later on for girls only.
As long as you limit
the amount of time your child spends watching TV—not more than two hours
of screen time a day is recommended—and ensure that you stick to
age-appropriate programs, television probably will not have any bad
effects on your child.
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| Q: |
My two children fight constantly over the computer. Should I ban it completely?
| | A: |
Learning to use and share a computer is an important lesson for
children. You can use time on the computer as a reward to be earned for
behaving according to the rules you have set for its proper use. Time on
the computer can then also become a sanction to be removed for
rule-breaking. Banning things completely denies you this very powerful
incentive and denies your children the opportunity to gain all the
benefits that computers can offer.
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| Q: |
What can I do to ensure internet safety?
| | A: |
As with any other new activity that your children engage in, the
internet requires the same balance of parental response: interest,
rules, monitoring, and safety measures. You need to know what you are
dealing with, put safety measures in place as much as possible, keep an
eye on your children’s internet activity, and teach them responsible
e-safety measures as well.
Most crucially
for parents of internet-savvy children is the need to be informed and
skilled to use the technology with confidence. If you have to rely on
your child for technical assistance, you are at a disadvantage as the
responsible adult, and this can undermine your own and your child’s
sense of security. Set some clear and simple rules about how much time
each child is allowed to spend on the computer, when in the day that
should be (after homework is completed might be a good idea), and spell
out the behavior you expect to see from them toward each other, in
relation to you, and toward the computer. You might put up a list of
do’s and don’ts that include some details about handovers such as: When
your time is up, you have five minutes to finish what you’re doing and
hand over the controls; Wait until your brother/sister has finished
his/her turn, including the extra five minutes, to take the controls
that are given to you; Treat each other and the computer with respect
(no food or drinks nearby); Speak quietly and calmly.
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Ensuring e-safety
Install software that blocks access to inappropriate material. Monitor internet use and websites visited. Set
rules about behavior online: no personal information; no-go websites;
no illegal downloading; limits to time spent online; behave as you would
offline. Explain
why you are concerned, and that it is your responsibility to keep your
children safe; use an offline analogy, like learning to ride a bike. Encourage discussion about internet content, contact, and conduct. Support your children in making judgments about the reliability of online content. Encourage your child to take some responsibility for his own e-safety. Share time together on the internet.
Video gaming Risky or beneficial?
Think nine-year-old boys,
and a video game isn’t far behind! As with internet use, there may be
risks (for example, many games feature adult content) but there may also
be advantages. Perhaps more than any other screen-related activity,
gaming technology is developing so rapidly that parents and researchers
cannot keep up. This means that, in many cases, we just do not know what
their effects on children might be.
Benefits of gaming
There is evidence of
improvements in decision-making and attention in six-year-olds who have
had some training on a computer screen. However, caution must be taken
when drawing comfort from this research—although changes may be
demonstrated immediately following the training, we do not know if this
continues in the long term, nor whether it transfers from the gaming
situation to real life.
Educationally, using
video games to teach your child will certainly increase his motivation,
but the overall success will depend on your child, his teacher, and the
subject being taught. For children with special educational needs,
developments have been made in using video games to teach skills. For
example, a game involving Thomas the Tank Engine has been used to teach
emotional recognition skills to children on the autistic spectrum. Using
video gaming following painful procedures in hospital has been shown to
reduce the amount of pain-relieving medication needed.
Playing together with
friends and family on video games, from the most basic puzzles and races
to the interactive and physically active sporting and musical games, is
highly social and great fun. Children are also learning about turn
taking, negotiating, winning, and losing.
| Q: |
What do we know about the risks?
| | A: |
One of the main areas of concern is the amount of time children
spend gaming. Although it may not be appropriate to say that a child is
truly addicted, gaming can certainly be a problem requiring significant
change if he is playing every day for long stretches of time, instead of
doing homework, physical activity, socializing, and sleeping, and if
his mood is directly affected by whether he is gaming or not. Hours
playing solitary games from a young age may have a detrimental impact on
language and social-skills development and, indeed, on learning to
control behavior and emotions. Parents should ensure that their child is
playing a suitable game for his age by checking the age ratings on the
box.
It is up to parents
to decide how much time your children spend playing video games. You
could have a rule that gaming is only allowed after meals, chores,
completion of homework, and enough physical activity.
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Moderation
Playing video games should be fine as long as you impose a time limit.
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