| Q: |
Food seems to go flying everywhere when my daughter eats. Is this bad behavior?
| | A: |
Your daughter is naturally curious about how food looks, tastes,
and feels. She’s making a mess because it’s a hit-or-miss process
figuring out how to feed herself, and she’s exploring the sensation of
food in her hands and mouth. This is not bad behavior—it’s a step toward
greater independence and a welcome sign of curiosity. If too much food
is being wasted this way, try giving her a small amount of food to play
with while you hold the bowl she’s eating from. At this stage it’s a
good idea not to wear your best clothes at mealtime! You could also put a
mat down under her chair to make cleaning up easier. With a little bit
of practice and lots of encouragement, your daughter will soon master
her self-feeding skills and develop her interest in food. Add in plenty
of praise for eating nicely and avoid a fuss when food goes flying, and
she’ll get the message about what you prefer.
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| Q: |
My 18-month-old is too busy to stop and eat, and he seems to be losing weight. Should I worry?
| | A: |
Children put on significantly less weight in their second year
than they did in the first 12 months of their life. So, while it might
look like your son is losing weight, he is actually just growing more
slowly than you are used to. Running around and exploring will also burn
plenty of calories, so his body shape will be changing, too. Offer him
healthy snacks between mealtimes to keep his energy levels up. Avoid
sugary or fatty things such as cookies and sweets. Stick to regular
mealtimes, but don’t force him to eat. This is a battle you will not
win, and could lead to eating problems when he is older. Don’t overwhelm
your child with a large meal—this will not make him eat any more. Offer
smaller portions of food instead—there is always the option to ask for
more if he is still hungry. Your son will eat what he needs, so focus on
providing him with regular, healthy options, and his interest in food
will develop.
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| Q: |
My three-year-old son wants to eat his meals in front of the TV. Should I let him?
| | A: |
TV is distracting and likely to draw your son’s attention away
from his meal. If he does not eat enough he may be asking you for snacks
later to fill in the gaps. Children at this age are also targeted by TV
advertising. Colorful packaging, loud music, and cartoon characters may
spark his interest in inappropriate foods and undermine your attempts
to encourage healthy eating. Sitting in front of the TV instead of
around the dinner table means that your child will miss out on the
social aspect of mealtimes, too. Eating as a family allows you to share
things about your day, helps your child learn more about food, and gives
him the opportunity to develop other skills such as table manners.
Children who eat at least
one meal a day with their family have also been shown to have better
vocabularies. The occasional meal in front of the TV is unlikely to do
any harm, but it is best to avoid this becoming a habit.
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| Q: |
My daughter will only eat canned spaghetti. Help!
| | A: |
Don’t worry—you are not alone. Around 20 percent of children
under five are known to be fussy about their food at some time. When
your daughter keeps asking for the same food meal after meal, this is
usually referred to as being stuck in a “food jag.” When you are working
hard to encourage healthy eating, this can be frustrating and worrying.
Try to stay calm, and
avoid unhelpful strategies such as threats and bribery, which will only
make things worse. If your child seems happy, healthy, and has plenty of
energy, she is probably getting all the calories, vitamins, and
minerals she needs from her diet. Offer her healthy snacks through the
day and keep preparing her favorite foods, but introduce new things
alongside them for her to try. Don’t challenge your daughter on her
pickiness—focus on the positives and give her plenty of praise when she
tries other foods.
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| Q: |
My child just picks at her food. How can I make her eat more?
| | A: |
All parents worry at some time or other that their child is not
eating enough. The truth is that most children will eat what they need,
and negotiating this with parents is good for their developing
independence. Don’t force your child to eat or make her stay at the
table until she has cleared her plate. This can make things worse, and
could lead to eating difficulties when she is older. Clear the table
after 30 minutes—praise what she has eaten and ignore what she has left.
Just make sure your child is not filling up on treats afterward! If
she’s still hungry, this suggests that either she does not like what she
is being given or how it’s presented. Try including your daughter in
the choosing and preparation of her meals. Be careful to limit her
choices to two options—both of which you are happy with. Let her help
out in the kitchen and make food fun by preparing simple meals together,
such as pizzas that she can decorate. Let her see you enjoying the same
foods. If you have a garden, you could also try growing a few things
together: Children love eating food they’ve grown themselves.
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| Q: |
Is it OK to reward my child for eating?
| | A: |
You certainly won’t be the first parent to say, “Eat your peas,
then you can have some ice cream.” While this might seem like a good way
to motivate your child, research shows that statements like this
actually result in children eating fewer peas and valuing ice cream more
highly in the long term.
Rewards do help,
though—as long as you use them in the right way. Rather than offering a
tasty treat, research shows that the most effective reward is to give
plenty of praise and encouragement when your child is eating healthy
foods. This will make her feel good about what she is doing rather than
teaching her to eat just so she can have that dessert. Using rewards in
this way will help your child develop healthy eating habits that will
last her a lifetime.
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| Q: |
We rarely eat together as a family. Is this a problem?
| | A: |
Modern life is very busy, and it can be hard to get everyone
together at the right time to sit down and enjoy a meal. Family
mealtimes are an important social event, though, and your child will
gain a huge amount from taking part. Conversation around the dinner
table promotes speech and language development. Watching how you
prepare, serve, and eat your food helps children learn the skills they
need to become independent. Eating together also teaches children good
table manners and the social skills they will need in school.
Perhaps most importantly,
mealtimes are a great opportunity for you to spend quality time with
each other as a family. It may not be possible to achieve this every
day, but even if you only manage it two or three times a week it will be
well worth the effort. Turn off the TV, sit down, share a meal, and
enjoy each others’ company.
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| Q: |
My child refuses to eat his vegetables. Should I hide them in something else?
| | A: |
Young children are much more sensitive to bitter flavors than
adults, so it’s important to understand that vegetables particularly can
taste very different to them. Hiding disliked vegetables in other foods
may be successful in getting your child to eat them and so make you
feel less anxious. However, if your child does not know he has eaten
carrots, he is very unlikely to ever eat them out of choice. Also, if
you tell your child what he has just eaten, he may well feel that you
have tricked him and will be less likely to trust you on other issues.
Rather than hiding
foods, it’s best to be open and honest with your child about what he is
eating. Try changing how you present the vegetables—serve them raw, cut
them into interesting shapes and sizes, or serve them with a sauce to
take the edge off their flavor until he is used to the taste. Try
different types: If he won’t eat spinach, try kale. There are lots of
vegetables to choose from, so get your child involved in deciding which
he would like to try.
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Introducing new food How to break the deadlock
Many
parents dread presenting their children with a new meal, knowing they
will make a fuss and perhaps refuse to eat anything at all.
There is a way through this deadlock, though. Start off by putting a
tiny amount of the new food on the side of your child’s favorite meal.
If he complains, don’t give in and take it away. It can be hard to see
your child upset, but this won’t last long, and it is important that he
gets the message about who is in charge at mealtime. When your child is
okay with the new food being on his plate, encourage him to play with
it, put it to his lips, taste it, and finally, eat it. Your child may
need to try new foods at least 10 times before he will accept them—so
don’t give up after a couple of attempts. If he really does not like
what is being offered, try something else from the same food group that
has the equivalent nutritional value; for example, if he refuses to eat
yogurt, try offering cheese instead.
Snack happy Filling up on treats
My son was always happy to
eat during the day, and I was pleased he enjoyed his food. He had a
good breakfast and then wandered around with his bottle of milk snacking
on whatever took his fancy through the day. When it came to his evening
meal, though, it was a very different story. Getting him to eat
anything was such a battle it often ended with either me or him in
tears. Eventually I realized that topping up his bottle with milk
whenever he wanted and allowing him to snack freely on cookies meant
that he was just not feeling hungry at the right time. I decided to give
him water sometimes instead of milk and swapped his cookies for fruit
slices and vegetable sticks. He protested at first, but he got used to
his new diet in a few days, and it seemed to do the trick. Our evening
meals are much calmer now, and my son is more than ready for his food.
NOTE
Your child may need to try new foods at least 10 times before he will accept them
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