women

Whether it’s your toddler who refuses to eat vegetables or your preschooler who throws tantrums at bedtime, stubborn kids in your life can easily turn every of your single day into a struggle. Arguing is not only stressful, but also counterproductive, as this make them think that they have more control over the situation than you do. You have to combine between sincerity and guides to persuade your stubborn child to do what you want him to. 

Description: A stubborn kid

A stubborn kid

Instructions

1.    Choose your battles. If your child insists on wearing his favorite color every day or refuses some dishes, don’t force them. Save the arguments for important issues, such as when he refuses to wear any clothes or throw all the food except for the sweets.

2.    Allow your child to explain why he is so stubborn. He may be stubborn because he feels powerless and explaining let him feel validated even if it doesn’t change your mind. You may even learn that he has a reasonable opinion. For instance, if he doesn’t want to go to sleep just because there’re 3 more pages left in the book, it is reasonable to let him finish reading.

Description: Allow the child to explain why he is so stubborn

Allow the child to explain why he is so stubborn

3.    Give your child options. This makes him feel that he has control over the situation. For example, before cooking diner, say “We have carrots, peas and squash for the salad tonight. Which one do you want honey?” If he refuses all the options you gave him, calmly remind them that it is not one of his choices and ask him to choose another one.

4.    Explain the reason why you want him to do what you say. Try to articulate your reasons in a way that your child can see his best interests. For example, instead of saying “You should let John choose the game”, say “Unless you let John select the game sometimes, he may not want to play with you anymore.” This gives him a specific reason to listen to you.

5.    Turn troubling situations into games or privileges. Instead of asking for him to clean his room, make a game to see how fast he can clean the room or you can say that you need him to be a “special supporter” by helping you to clean the house.

Description: Tell him that you need him to be a “special supporter” by helping you to clean the house

Tell him that you need him to be a “special supporter” by helping you to clean the house

6.    Praise your child when he does what you want without fighting back. Say thank you when he follows to your instructions. A positive support may encourage the child to do what you want.

7.    Make a good example of compromise for your child. If you argue with your husband or your parents in front of the child, he will learn that only solve disagreements by forcing others to give in. instead, compromise with each other to show him that this is the right way to solve the problem.

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