He wrote bad poetry – to his ex
“He was a hot posh-boy rugby player who
wrote (bad) poetry on the sly. (The signs were all there, I know…) When he
begged me to come on his annual family holiday to their house in France, I
agreed, despite a niggling feeling that it was a bad idea. (But I was young,
poor and it was a free holiday.)
He
wrote bad poetry – to his ex
I can confirm that a French country villa,
no matter how beautiful, is the last place on earth you want to be when you
discover your boyfriend is writing poems to his ex, starting with the immortal
lines, ‘Why did I leave you for a fairer flower/ When the fairest flower of all
was in my arms the whole time?’
I confronted him, saying it was bad enough
that he had dragged me to France on an awkward family holiday, but to be
insulted via bad poetry was beyond the pale. ‘You don’t like my poem?’ he
responded, crushed. And he expected us to carry on like nothing had happened in
front of his parents (and keep having sex, naturally). Definitely the worst
holiday ever.” Lydia, 34
He lied that he was dying
“I’d been living in Germany for a year,
performing in a musical, when my boyfriend told me he had a terminal illness. I
was shocked – I asked him if this was his way of telling me he’d met someone
else – but he insisted he was so ill that he was going to end up in a
vegetative state. I was devastated, so I quit my job and flew back to look
after him. One day, when he was at the hospital having some tests, I called one
of his friends. I started saying how worried I was, but he replied, ‘Lisa, what
are you talking about? He’s fine.’ I was dumbfounded; he’d made the whole
illness up.
He
lied that he was dying
I went mad and dumped him straight away,
but for the next six months he’d pop up in unexpected places, like my mum’s
hose in Scotland, to try to win me back. He gave me two rings, saying one was
for our past, and one for our future. He left a letter at my local pub, saying,
‘I’ll never stop loving you’ – the whole thing was absolutely crazy. In the end,
I found out through Facebook that he’d been having an affair; clearly, he was a
compulsive liar.
The last four months of our relationship
were terrible, but now I realize he threw me a lifeline. His psycho ways
allowed me to feel happy about being single – and then I fell head over heels
in love with my work friend, Chris. We’ve been together for two years, and I’ve
never been happier, so I’d like to say a big thank you to my hideous ex.” Lisa,
28
The sex was freaky
“He was an actor. We’d dated for a couple
of weeks before having sex. We’d started getting down, when he reached over to
the stereo and … put on circus music. We proceeded to have sex like we were on
a flying trapeze: there was a lot of uncomfortable rolling and tumbling. It was
the most awkward experience of my life. I left the next morning and never spoke
to him again. My friends and I still refer to him as Acrobat Boy.” Melody,
24
We were both unfaithful
“I met Mark when I was 19 and working in
the City. He was 27, rich and handsome. We quickly fell in love, moved in
together after four months and lived an amazing life. But after four years, the
attraction was fading, and when he flew to South America for a solo holiday I
suspected he might have met someone else – he was a people person, so it was
very out of character. One day, I logged on to Facebook on our computer and it
automatically went to his account – he must have forgotten to log out before he
jetted off. There were lots of messages from a girl I’d never heard of about
his holiday – clearly, he was not alone. When he got back, I demanded an
explanation and he told me they’d been seeing each other for a few months. I
threatened to end the relationship, but he apologized and told me he saw me as
marriage material. I loved him, so I stuck with him and I genuinely believe he
did end his affair, but I started to resent him. We went for six months without
sex, and then I had an affair – I suppose it was revenge. One night he got out
of bed and said, ‘That’s it – it’s over.’ My friends tell me the break-up was
my fault because I love drama. But looking back, I’m glad we split up –
relationships in your early twenties shouldn’t be that stressful. If it’s not
fun at this age, there’s something seriously wrong.” Jade, 25
He couldn’t commit
“My ex-fiancé jilted me the night before
our wedding day. At 3am, less than 12 hours before we were due to marry, he
texted: ‘I can’t do it, I’m in Spain. I love you, I’m sorry.’ At the time, I
thought my life was over. He was the love of my life, and he left me stranded
with no explanation. I felt worthless. But now, when I look back at our
relationship, I wonder if I missed vital warning signs. I would never have
wanted him to marry me if he wasn’t sure, but we’d been engaged for two years,
so he had plenty of time to think about it.
I had Counselling and then joined the
website iloveyouraccent.com, thinking it might make sense to meet a guy who
lived abroad, so I could start a new life. Quite quickly I met Phil, a gorgeous
American guy, and we started dating. Things got serious quite quickly and he
was unfazed by my baggage. Now, I’m living in the US and love my life. I wish
that on that non-wedding day I could have realized things really would get
better.” Karen, 34
He was too jealous
He
grabbed my arm and said, ‘What are you doing?’
“One night I was at a party with my
boyfriend of two-and-a-half years, when he saw me chatting to another guy. He
grabbed my arm and said, ‘What are you doing?’ I’m quite headstrong, so I told
him t let go and leave. He went home hanging his head in shame, but I realized
he was never going to trust me. When I dumped him, he blamed his, ex, saying
she’d left him with trust issues and that he loved me, but I stood my ground.
It’s only seven weeks and I miss him, but I think it was for the best.” Sarah,
27
