Breaking up is hard to do. But when else fails, it’s something we have to deal with – and not just when it comes to men. Here’s how to part with your boss, a professional confidant and s friend.


Description: Motlalepule Mokhine

Motlalepule Mokhine

Motlalepule Mokhine is the managing member of Johannesburg-based Temogo Consulting, which offers services in executive and life coaching.

How to end things with… your employer

It’s the right time if…

You’re bored and unfulfilled, or you have a desire to pursue a new calling. Research shows the majority of people aren’t working in the areas of their strengths. Also, maybe your workplace doesn’t afford you the space to develop your talents and skills.

When you reach the point where you feel you want to grow, or start again by joining another organization or building an entity that’s yours, it’s time to leave. Do the necessary research before you go so you understand what is needed to reach your goals.

Make a clean break

Hold onto your reputation by remaining professional. When you tall your employer you’re leaving, don’t apologise or over-explain. Be courteous and respond to questions you feel comfortable with. Don’t change your mind once you’ve announced you’re leaving as the trust relationship will be negatively impacted. Complete your work before you go to make things easier on the company. Thank them for the opportunities and lessons you’ve gained.

See temogo.co.za for info.


Description: Jacqui O’Bree

Jacqui O’Bree

Jacqui O’Bree is a Johannesburg-based life coach and the owner of Fullife Coaching.

How to end things with… a professional confidant

It’s the right time if…

Perhaps you’re had one too many bad haircuts or your doctor is stuck in the dark ages. Ending a professional relationship isn’t as easy as it seems. The thought of leaving, even though it’ll be good for you, often stirs up feelings of anxiety and stress. You may have been going to the same doctor since you were young, or your hairdresser has become a friend. This guilt can hold us back from doing what we want and often need to do.

Make a clean break

Nobody likes to be rejected, so be gentle in how you word your reason for leaving. Try your best not to be hurtful. However, if other people are leaving for the same reason, then explain this in a constructive manner. Cushion your reason for leaving between two sincere compliments.

If you can’t bear the thought of ending the relationship face-to-face, write a note or email. This may seem cowardly, but it’s a professional relationship and the courtesy of a note may suffice. Don’t dwell on what you’ll be losing. Refocus your attention on what you’ll be gaining – new friends, a new look, or better advice!

See fullife-coach.com for info.


Description: Dr. Adele Romanis

Dr. Adele Romanis

Dr. Adele Romanis is a Johannesburg-based clinical psychologist.

How to end things with… a once-close pal

It’s the right time if…

A friendship that should be based on acceptance and respect has turned toxic. This may mean it’s time to move on. Often this is when the time and effort invested in the relationship is off balance. One person is doing all the taking and the other all the giving. But consider the circumstances carefully so that you don’t misidentify a friendship going through a rocky stage with one that’s toxic.

Make a clean break

Make a clean break and don’t have any further contact. If you do decide to give the friendship another chance, then you need to address the current state of the relationship with your friend.

Approaching the topic may be difficult. Make a date and describe your experience. Your friend may have a different take, so expect some shock on her part. It’s important you don’t blame her completely as you also had a role to play in allowing things to get to this point. In future, set up boundaries and define how you want to be treated. You’re worth everything you put into the friendship and deserve that to be reciprocated.

See adeleromanis.com for info.

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