My Test is Positive What happens next? Q: | We've confirmed the pregnancy—when should we tell everyone? | A: | This comes down to personal preference. Many women wait until after their first ultrasound or until completion of the first trimester before announcing the pregnancy. This is mainly because the chances of miscarriage are at their highest in the first trimester. This avoids having to break the news if you do miscarry. On the other hand, you may value others' support. Circumstances may dictate that you tell people earlier, for example, if pregnancy symptoms are pronounced. Some couples find that waiting to share the news allows them to adapt to the idea of parenthood without constant “advice” from others. |
Q: | It's what we wanted, but now I feel unsure—am I just scared? | A: | Finding out you are pregnant, even if it was planned, can feel overwhelming and what you are feeling is perfectly normal. The hormonal changes you are experiencing can also give you highs and lows, which you have to handle along with the physical changes of pregnancy. Talking to your partner, a trusted family member or friend, or confidentially to your midwife, about how you are feeling may help relieve your anxiety. It's important to acknowledge that pregnancy is a time of enormous change—physically, emotionally, socially, and financially—and it takes time to adjust to these changes. |
Q: | I want the baby but my partner doesn't—can he force me to have an abortion? | A: | No, whether or not you proceed with the pregnancy is your decision. Your partner may simply need more time to adjust, but if he remains adamant that he doesn't want the baby, you need to decide about the future of your relationship. |
Q: | My mom has strong opinions about pregnancy—how can I tell her I want to do it my way? | A: | You could take your mother to an prenatal appointment so she can see how things have changed and your midwife can explain the reasoning behind your care. If she still interferes, have a frank talk. Tell her that although you love her and know she wants to help, you want to make your own decisions. Hopefully she will come around to your point of view. |
Q: | We don't feel ready financially—how will we cope? | A: | There are ways to cut costs when preparing for your baby. Although some items should be new, such as mattresses and car seats, many things can be bought second-hand or passed on from friends and relatives. Clothes and shoes, for example, are quickly outgrown by little ones, so consider getting these items gently used. There's also is a range of monetary and health benefits to which you may be entitled. Staff at your clinic, birthing center, or hospital can direct you to resources that are available to pregnant women and their families. |
Q: | I'm pregnant by IVF—is there anything different I should do? | A: | Some experts believe that once pregnant, providing there are no other risk factors, you should be treated the same as unassisted low-risk pregnancies. Others believe that you are already a higher risk because you needed help to conceive. Recent research suggests a link between IVF and growth problems, so regular ultrasounds may be advisable. Your doctor may have a policy for IVF pregnancies and you could speak to your midwife or doctor about ongoing care. |
Q: | When will I have my first prenatal appointment and how many can I expect? | A: | Your first appointment with the doctor or midwife, known as the “initial visit”, usually takes place between 8 and 12 weeks. It tends to be the longest one since its purpose is to obtain your medical history and carry out checks that you and your health-care provider can plan your care together. For pregnancies with no complications, 10–14 appointments are typical. However, you should always feel free to contact your doctor or midwife between appointments if you happen to have any concerns or questions. |
Q: | I got pregnant right away—are we super-fertile? | A: | If you have intercourse around ovulation time and neither of you has fertility problems, you have a 25 percent chance of conceiving. So I'm afraid this just indicates that intercourse was well timed! |
Q: | My partner treats me as if I'm made of glass. How can I show him that this isn't necessary? | A: | Discuss your feelings and allow him to voice his concerns. Ask him to come to an appointment, since the more he understands, the better equipped he'll be to provide more appropriate support when needed. |
How do I work out when my baby is due?If you have a regular cycle, your due date is calculated at 40 weeks after the first day of your last menstrual period. Look on the chart for the month and then the first day of your last menstrual period (printed in bold type). Directly below it is the date that your baby is due—your estimated delivery date (EDD). TableJanuary | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | Oct/Nov | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | February | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | | | | Nov/Dec | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | | | | March | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | Dec/Jan | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | April | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | | Jan/Feb | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | | May | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | Feb/Mar | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | June | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | | Mar/Apr | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | | July | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | Apr/May | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | August | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | May/June | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | September | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | | June/July | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | | October | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | July/Aug | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | November | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | | Aug/Sept | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | | December | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | Sept/Oct | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
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