Breaking up is hard to do. But when else fails, it’s
something we have to deal with – and not just when it comes to men. Here’s how
to part with your boss, a professional confidant and s friend.
Career
Motlalepule
Mokhine
Motlalepule Mokhine is the managing member of
Johannesburg-based Temogo Consulting, which offers services in executive and
life coaching.
How to end things with… your employer
It’s the right time if…
You’re bored and unfulfilled, or you have a desire to pursue
a new calling. Research shows the majority of people aren’t working in the
areas of their strengths. Also, maybe your workplace doesn’t afford you the
space to develop your talents and skills.
When you reach the point where you feel you want to grow, or
start again by joining another organization or building an entity that’s yours,
it’s time to leave. Do the necessary research before you go so you understand
what is needed to reach your goals.
Make a clean break
Hold onto your reputation by remaining professional. When
you tall your employer you’re leaving, don’t apologise or over-explain. Be
courteous and respond to questions you feel comfortable with. Don’t change your
mind once you’ve announced you’re leaving as the trust relationship will be
negatively impacted. Complete your work before you go to make things easier on
the company. Thank them for the opportunities and lessons you’ve gained.
See temogo.co.za for info.
Lifestyle
Jacqui O’Bree
Jacqui O’Bree is a Johannesburg-based life coach and the
owner of Fullife Coaching.
How to end things with… a professional confidant
It’s the right time if…
Perhaps you’re had one too many bad haircuts or your doctor
is stuck in the dark ages. Ending a professional relationship isn’t as easy as
it seems. The thought of leaving, even though it’ll be good for you, often
stirs up feelings of anxiety and stress. You may have been going to the same
doctor since you were young, or your hairdresser has become a friend. This
guilt can hold us back from doing what we want and often need to do.
Make a clean break
Nobody likes to be rejected, so be gentle in how you word
your reason for leaving. Try your best not to be hurtful. However, if other
people are leaving for the same reason, then explain this in a constructive
manner. Cushion your reason for leaving between two sincere compliments.
If you can’t bear the thought of ending the relationship
face-to-face, write a note or email. This may seem cowardly, but it’s a
professional relationship and the courtesy of a note may suffice. Don’t dwell
on what you’ll be losing. Refocus your attention on what you’ll be gaining –
new friends, a new look, or better advice!
See fullife-coach.com for info.
Friendship
Dr. Adele Romanis
Dr. Adele Romanis is a Johannesburg-based clinical
psychologist.
How to end things with… a once-close pal
It’s the right time if…
A friendship that should be based on acceptance and respect
has turned toxic. This may mean it’s time to move on. Often this is when the
time and effort invested in the relationship is off balance. One person is
doing all the taking and the other all the giving. But consider the
circumstances carefully so that you don’t misidentify a friendship going
through a rocky stage with one that’s toxic.
Make a clean break
Make a clean break and don’t have any further contact. If
you do decide to give the friendship another chance, then you need to address
the current state of the relationship with your friend.
Approaching the topic may be difficult. Make a date and
describe your experience. Your friend may have a different take, so expect some
shock on her part. It’s important you don’t blame her completely as you also
had a role to play in allowing things to get to this point. In future, set up
boundaries and define how you want to be treated. You’re worth everything you
put into the friendship and deserve that to be reciprocated.
See adeleromanis.com for info.
