While taking action to change the situation is one
way of managing and reducing stress, perception-oriented techniques can
reduce stress by changing the way you see, and therefore feel about, a
situation.
Don’t Put Yourself Down
In many cases, it is not the
situation that causes stress, but the way we react to it and what we
say to ourselves about it. Often we can be too harsh on ourselves.
Negative thinking of this kind can cause intense stress and unhappiness,
and can damage your performance by undermining your self-confidence and
distracting you when you need to focus on what you’re doing. You are
thinking negatively when you fear the future, put yourself down,
criticize yourself for errors, doubt your abilities, or expect failure.
Become Aware
NOTE
You can’t manage your thoughts until you are aware of them
The first step in
learning how to deal with negative thoughts is to recognize that you are
having them. Unfortunately, these thoughts tend to flit in and out of
our consciousness almost unnoticed, and because of this they certainly
go unchallenged. These negative thoughts can be completely incorrect,
but this doesn’t diminish their harmful effect. Thought awareness can be
achieved by observing and recording your stream of consciousness as you
think about a stressful situation. Don’t suppress any thoughts; just
let them run their course while you watch them unfold and jot them down
as they happen.
Tip
If you find it hard to be objective, look at your
list of negative thoughts and imagine how someone else would challenge
them.
Think Smart
You may find that simply writing down in your stress
diary all of your negative thoughts and the things that you are worried
about will give you a better perspective on your problems.
Try to log all of
your negative thoughts and anxieties in your stress diary as they
occur, then tackle the most common and damaging ones – these are the
things that are interfering with your enjoyment of life. By learning to
deal effectively with the problem areas of your life you will soon start
finding solutions to difficulties as they arise and will be able to
take advantage of opportunities for improving your quality of life.
Challenge Negative Thoughts
Your stress diary may
reveal that you often have feelings of inadequacy, are worried that your
performance in your job will not be good enough, or are anxious about
other people’s reactions to your work. Always ask yourself whether a
negative thought is reasonable: does it stand up to scrutiny? Challenge
your negative thoughts.
Feelings of inadequacy
– Do you have the experience and resources you need to do your job?
Have you planned, prepared, and rehearsed appropriately? If you have
done all of these, perhaps you are setting yourself unattainably high
standards for doing the job.
Worries about performance
– Are you properly trained? Have you prepared properly? Do you have
enough time? If not, then you need to take action quickly. If the answer
is yes, then you are well positioned to give the best performance that
you can.
Anxiety about other people’s reactions
– If you have put in good preparation, and you do the best you can,
then that is all that you need to know. If you perform as well as you
can, fair people are likely to respond well.
Heed the Warning
By challenging
negative thoughts rationally, you should be able to determine accurately
whether the thoughts are wrong or whether they reflect a realistic
appraisal of the situation. If there is some substance to your concerns,
work to take appropriate action. In these cases, negative thinking has
been an early warning system showing where you need to direct your
attention.
Produce Positive Thoughts
NOTE
We usually fail because we fear failure
Where you have
used rational thinking to identify incorrect negative thinking, you’ll
be able to turn these around by preparing rational positive thoughts and
affirmations to counter your negative thoughts. The danger with
negative thoughts is that they can begin to dictate to you what the
reality is, blocking you from any possibility of making an objective
assessment of a situation. Rational thinking will help you to produce
realistic positive thoughts. Using realistic positive affirmations can
help you to build your self-confidence and reverse the damaging effects
of negative thinking.
Think Positive
High Impact
Writing down your negative thoughts when they occur
Challenging your negative thoughts objectively
Using affirmations to counter "unfair” thoughts
Exploring opportunities that arise from positive thinking
Negative Impact
Letting your negative thoughts go unchecked
Accepting your negative thinking as reality
Worrying about situations without taking action
Thinking positively without thinking rationally
Techniques to Practise
Counteract your negative thoughts with positive statements that will increase your confidence.
You can practise counteracting negative thinking with some positive affirmations:
Feelings of inadequacy: “I am well trained for this. I have the
experience, the resources, and the knowledge I need. I can do a superb
job.”
Worries about performance: “I have researched and planned well for
this, and I thoroughly understand the problem. I have the time,
resources, and help I need. I am ready to do an excellent job.”
Worry about other people’s reaction: “I am well prepared and am
doing the best I can. Fair people will respect this. I will rise above
any unfair criticism in a mature and professional way.”
Write these affirmations down, then repeat them to yourself a few
times whenever you are feeling undermined and your confidence could do
with a boost.
Take the Opportunities
Pushing positive thinking
one step further, it can also be useful to look at the situation and see
whether it offers any useful opportunities. In the examples in Techniques to Practise
, if you successfully overcome the situations causing the negative
thinking, you will acquire new skills and be seen as someone who can
handle difficult challenges. This, in turn, may open up new career
possibilities and will give you the confidence to take advantage of any
new opportunities that present themselves. Initially, each time a new
challenge presents itself you may find that you need to repeat your
positive affirmations, However, after having dealt successfully with
several difficult situations you may find that you no longer need them.
Tip
Affirmations will be strongest if they are specific and expressed in the present tense.
