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Is Prohibition The Easiest Way To Protect Your Children?

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It has never happened that the news on accidents, murder, robbery, rape ... appear on the press as much as recent years.

Picking up, over protecting make bad effect on independence of children as they think that there will always be somebody to support and do everything for them. Instead of acting to achieve what they want, the children will be lazy, always ask for help even in the smallest thing.

Many parents choose prohibition as a way to protect their children.

Many parents choose prohibition as a way to protect their children.

Parents make decisions basing on fear

It has never happened that the news on accidents, murder, robbery, rape ... appear on the press as much as recent years. Perhaps talking about the fear may get more attention than talking about the beauty, good things in life.

Since giving birth to baby, parents have been always feeling that their children are small, fragile entity, need to be protected.

Complex modern society, many pitfalls, the development of Internet with both good and bad side, information about the social evils... makes anxiety, insecurity stronger.

It makes many parents behave, make decisions basing on fear.

It cannot conclude that Vietnamese parents encircle their children too much, making them not independent if only basing on the daily picking up.

The children themselves going out, going to school are just the signs of independence rather than the ultimate goal, the result of independence.

The children themselves going out, going to school are just the signs of independence rather than the ultimate goal, the result of independence.

The children themselves going out, going to school are just the signs of independence rather than the ultimate goal, the result of independence.

Even so, parents should also ask themselves, not only in picking up children but also in many other decisions: Do their behaviors with children base on anxiety?

Some mothers do not allow their children to play with friends because of fearing they are bad people, not allow them go out with fear of not being unable to control the children’s action, or do not let them be close to friends for fear that the children will turn their back to family.

When parents make decisions basing on fear, worry instead of basing on their interest, belief in children's ability, it would create an imposition, strain on the relationship.

The anxiety of parents is also an essential thing to help children recognize risky, unsafe aspects of life.

However, if this fear does not come along with the belief that "children will adapt to it," “they will overcome", "they have the ability to protect themselves ", it will make the child dare to to do anything, dare not go anywhere, become shy and passive in life.

Give them more freedom and teach them how to protect themselves

"Some time ago, there was a school-year-end dinner party for the entire school, where students can dress nice, dance with friends. I asked a 10th grade girl "Do you go?" She replied, "It depends on whether my parents are happy or not."

Obviously she could not make a simple decision, though it was an activity for all students, she was free that day, she had beautiful dress and she knew that would be happy. Instead of making decision herself, planning a simple task in her life, everything depended on something that she could not control.

The children themselves want to be independent.

The children themselves want to be independent.

The story makes me understand deeply one thing: In addition to orientation, companion, protection of children, parents should give them a little freedom, create some moments of privacy, and let them decide their own life in the limit possible instead of prohibiting and encircling them like a princess.

Besides ensuring the safety of the girls, the opinion that "girls should not play, spend the night at friend’s house" also reflects the gender concept ingrained in Asian culture.

"Girls are not allowed to... Boys are ok" is the familiar saying that many girls still have to accept reluctantly when they were little. Many of them desire to be the boy, thinking that they will have freedom, do whatever they want.

Instead of seeing your daughter as an independent individual, help her be aware of limits, know how to protect herself from the risks, situations, some parents will choose the easiest way – prohibiting.

Let the daughter join in martial arts class, learn the defensive measures, discuss about dangerous situation and behavior ... just help her to avoid risks, enhance self-confidence, independence, discover the life freely, become a modern woman, and promote the potential of  herself without limits of gender stereotypes.

In foreign countries, female students are equipped with the products help protect themselves in case of necessity. Fathers often give their daughters electrical item, tear gas prayer... and guide them to use before going out.

They also learn self-defense in schools, receive instruction and practice defensive moves. Obviously, in any country in modern society, the awareness of safety and how to protect yourself is vital.

Since young children, parents should talk to children about safety issues. For children in kindergarten, parents should instruct them not to follow, to go out with strangers, not to accept gifts from strangers without the agreement from their parents, do not let anyone touch the genital organ of them , if someone does or hit them, they need to talk with parents ...

When children grow up, parents can read and exchange information with them about social evils, rape, kidnapping ...on the press, tell them the situation, how to avoid and protect themselves. Avoid using that information to threaten, intimidate the children, which makes them be afraid without knowing how to avoid and behave.

If the distance from home to school is short and the transport is not too complicated, parents can practice with their children to adapt to road and traffic.

Even when parents pick up, children still have freedom to make decision, plan on where they are going, joining in what kind of activity, aware of dangers and how to avoid them ... then they still have necessary freedom and independence to develop.

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