Want to get more done, feel calmer and more
balanced? Having a deeper understanding of self-discipline could be the key.
Self-discipline might seem an old-fashioned
concept these days. “Many people aren’t sure whether diligence or discipline is
a good thing – it makes them feel they are being told to act in a certain way.”
says His Holiness the Gyalwang Drukpa in his new book Everyday Enlightenment
(Penguin, $20). When you’re struggling to find a balance between long working
hours, housework, your relationship and family, you may scoff at the suggestion
you need to be more disciplined – after all, you already work hard. But diligence
is about streamlining and focusing, keeping your mind clear and learning not to
be distracted. Perfect the art of diligence and you’ll achieve more with less
effort. Here’s how.
If you’re prone to strong negative
emotions, you’ll find discipline is a balm.
Focus on the result
You can instill self-discipline by thinking
about what you’ll be able to achieve. A musician or artist brings lasting
happiness through their talents, but only if they first practice with
diligence. Then, seeing the joy their work brings, they feel content and
confident. One reason so many of us have trouble accepting praise or being
happy with our lot is that we lack the independent confidence that comes about
because of our devotion to something. Whether you’re learning yoga or starting
to knit, think how good you’ll feel once you’ve improved. You could even set
yourself a goal – becoming a yoga teacher or designing and making your perfect
cardi. Reaching a goal like this will leave you with a lasting sense of
achievement, peace and confidence. You’ll feel more capable and more in control
of things. You can apply this to any situation: rather than thinking about
getting through a boring day at work, focus on how good you’ll feel that you’ve
done the work to the best of your ability and can leave on time.
Create a clean mind
If you live with diligence you can learn to
focus your mind and therefore deal more easily with the busy and stressful life
that is so common today. A good method is to learn to meditate. Clear a little
time and space in your day to breathe mindfully. Be aware of each breath
entering your body, focus on how the breath turns with perfect naturalness,
feel the breath return, changed by your body, back into the world. Count each
breath, returning to one again when you reach 10. Concentrating only on your
breathing is the first step towards learning to focus and having control over
your thoughts. A doctor friend who felt stressed by an unmanageably high
turnover of patients tried it. After every patient she breathed mindfully for
two minutes. She felt guilty and unsure at first: it seemed counter-intuitive.
But because she was more relaxed and focused, she was better able to give her
patients solid, clear advice. She got through her work more efficiently and more
successfully, and her attitude to her job is healthier and happier.
Make space
Uncluttering your mind can also mean
tidying things in your day-to-day life. Clean your desk and your email folders
and keep them clean. Make lists of everything you need to do: break each job
down onto small, do-able segments. Further control your time by replying to
non-urgent emails only when it’s convenient.
Master your emotions
Yes, you can discipline yourself in this
area, too, and you’ll find your relationships with others will become smoother
and happier. If you’re prone to strong negative emotions, such as anger and
jealousy, you’ll find that discipline is like a soothing balm. Pause before you
respond in anger. Consider what a more thoughtful and compassionate response might
be. Now act on it. With practice, you’ll no longer be a slave to rash emotions.
You’ll probably also find that others start reacting to you in the same way.
