Description: J:\Online\2012\03\21\Doc\advice__gossip_can_do_good_files\image001.jpg

Trash talk can destroy a career, tarnish a reputation, and sever the tightest bond. But it also has a less sinister even beneficial-side. Read in for the dish.

Thanks to tabloids, twitter, and TMZ, gossip has a nasty reputation. The truth of the matter: It’s actually one of the most important ways we interact within our social and professional networks, says Jack Levin, Ph.D., a professor of sociology and criminology at Northeastern University and coauthor or Gossip: The inside Scoop. And with the exception of super-malilious rumormongering, sharing and receiving intel can offer a real boon to your emotional and physical well-being.

In fact, gossip can give you a mental edge: It’ll up your odds of connection with others, lift your mood, and reduce stress, says a University of Michigan study as long as you speak strategically, not mindlessly. Here, the golden rules, straight from the sources. Feel free to pass them on.

Take Small Bites

As with facebook profiles and first dates, you don’t want to reveal too much. “ A nugget of gossip can go a long way,” says Ben Dattner, Ph.D., an organizational psychologist in New York city and author of The Blame Game. For example, if you’re tempted to go off about your boss, it may be smart to leak a small detail about her to a trusted ally in order to prevent yourself from boiling over and talking major smack to anyone who’ll listen. A tidbit like her weird lunch habits is fair game, but never disclose extremely personal information, such as the fact that she had lipo or that she’s headed for divorce court.

Be the Beaer of Good News
Spreading positive, if somewhat private, news your BFF is pregnant or your coworker just snagged a big fat raise-show you’re connected and tapped into your social networks. (Another bonus: You do your pal a solid, because the word gets out without her feeling like a braggart.) Just make sure you’re not the only one who knows the goods before talking, says Dattner. You can say, “I’m so psyched for you! Is this classified info or can I toot your horm?”

Leverage Your Credit

As long as the juice is about work and not about your coworker’s bad breath or botched haircut some office gossip can work in your favour. “Small talk is out social currency. Pass on  good, quality tip and you can expect to be paid back in some form or another,” says Joseph Epstein, author of Gossip. So if you hear  coworker is being transferred to Hong Kong go ahead and tell a few interested parties-they’ll likely return the favour later on, which could help you land a better opportunity. Clueing your boss in on some need  to know industry or staff rumblings could also help your standing with her, as she’ll appreciate the on –the-ground intel and view you as tuned in.

Compliment, Then Complain

Studies show that gossip is extraordinarily efficient at keeping group members in line-when done properly. If you want to give a friend a light kick in the pants, instead of venting to pals that she returned your dress stained or never paid back the money you lent her, share the news as a side dish to more upbeat info. Think “ Mary looked amazing in the pictures from Greg’s wedding! But hey, she still hasn’t paid me for her share of the gift.” Plus, you could prevent friends from committing the same social crimes: People are much less likely to misbehave if they think others will talk about them,  says Levin. Believe it or not, “ the threat of being ostracized is often better at monitoring behaviour than the criminal justice system,” he says.

Practice Selective Spilling

When you can’t hold it in-you’re human, after all choose your audience wisely. If you have to gab to someone about another woman, consider telling a guy. A study from Knox College found that people are more interested in gossip about same sex ( because it conveys useful information about their own experiences), so there’s a smaller chance he’ll spread it around. Gossiping about a dude? Talk to one of your gal pals. And be mindful of body language: Averted eyes, tight lips, and tensing up might be signs that your audience doesn’t want to hear it Put the brakes on your blabbing, find a more sympathetic ear, or, safest of all, leave the gossip unsaid.

How to Squash a Rumor

When you need to squelch a nasty lie about yourself or someone you know, here’s how to do it-fast.

When it’s about you…

In this case, silence isn’t golden, it implies guilt, so the worst thing you can do is play dumb or ignore the rumor, says Ben Dattner, Ph.D. Your move: Confront the source directly and immediately before the story spreads, because the more people who hear the lie, the harder it is to extinguish. Having a credible ally back you up and confirm your story can also help. If the tidbit is true, you have only one option : Fess up.

When it’s about a friend…

Gossip spreads piecemeal, so the next time someone tries to trash-talk a pal in front of you, ask him or her to be direct with the full story. Ask questions like, “How do you know that?” or refute them with correct info by saying,” Well, that can’t be true. Because I know for a fact that XYZ happened. “ You can also use positive details to temper bad gossip, such as”She was great on the project we worked on together.” The gabber will usually back off, but it may be best to let your friend know about the scoop right away so she can doher own damage control.


Top search
- 6 Ways To Have a Natural Miscarriage
- Foods That Cause Miscarriage
- Losing Weight In A Week With Honey
- Can You Eat Crab Meat During Pregnancy?
- Grape Is Pregnant Women’s Friend
- 4 Kinds Of Fruit That Can Increase Risk Of Miscarriage
- Some Drinks Pregnant Women Should Say No With
- Signs Proving You Have Boy Pregnancy
- Why Do Pregnant Women Have Stomachache When Eating?
- Top Foods That Pregnant Women Should Be Careful Of
- 6 Kinds Of Vegetable That Increase Risk Of Miscarriage
- Expert Q&A: Feeling faint, Sleep-inducing eats…
- Ask the experts
- They Said I Need a Cesarean All about cesarean births (part 2) - Your partner's role How partners can help during a cesarean
- They Said I Need a Cesarean All about cesarean births (part 1)
- Why isn't the Baby Out Yet? Assisting the birth (part 2)
- Why isn't the Baby Out Yet? Assisting the birth (part 1)
- What Can I Do to Help? Partners at the birth (part 2)
- What Can I Do to Help? Partners at the birth (part 1)
- I'm Past My Due Date Do I need to be induced? (part 2) - Fetal monitoring in labor & Types of induction When your baby is overdue
- I'm Past My Due Date Do I need to be induced? (part 1)
Top keywords
Miscarriage Pregnant Pregnancy Pregnancy day by day Pregnancy week by week Losing Weight Stress Placenta Makeup Collection
Top 5
- Cinnamon: A natural treatment for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome?
- 5 Tips for Safe Exercise During Pregnancy
- Four Natural Ways Alternative Medicine Can Help You Get Pregnant (part 2)
- Four Natural Ways Alternative Medicine Can Help You Get Pregnant (part 1)
- Is Your Mental Health Causing You to Gain Weight (part 2) - Bipolar Disorder Associated with Weight Gain