We’ve all been there: you make a big decision, then realise –
horror – it was completely the wrong one. These four women reveal the moment
they took an embarrassing life U-turn – with brilliant results.
“I came home after emigrating to the Caribbean”
Popy Cyster, 28, is an artist and lives near Saffron Walden,
Essex, with her husband Boz, 36.
“Five years ago, in a complete leap of faith, I decided to
move to the Caribbean. As an aspiring artist, a studio in Antigua felt like the
ultimate lifestyle – I want to escape the pressure of working in London. I had
two weeks of tearful farewell drinks and leaving my parents behind at the
airport was heart-wrenching, but equally, I’d never felt so excited.
Popy Cyster
My plan was to stay forever, with the couple of one-week
trips home a year to sell my paintings to the galleries I already worked with.
I moved to a tiny one-bedroom bungalow with a tin roof surrounded by banana
trees and with a beach at the end of the road. I soon settled into island life.
I was never lonely – I made more friends than I knew what to do with.
In June 2009, I
came back to sell some work and it was like seeing my old life with new eyes. I
decided to move back to England.
But, after about 18 months, I began to feel the pull of
home. At first it was small things, but after missing two friends’ weddings
because I couldn’t afford to travel back, I started to feel out of the loop. A
few weeks later, my brother called to say he was going to propose to his
girlfriend, whom I barely knew, and when my mum phoned to say my uncle had
fallen serious ill, my bubble burst. Around the same time, a friend was
diagnosed with cancer and my sun-soaked life suddenly felt stale. In June
2009, I came back to sell some work and it was like seeing my old life with new
eyes. I decided to move back to England.
At first, it felt like I was returning with my tail between
my legs, especially when some friend raised their eyebrows and said I was crazy
to leave ‘paradise’. Of course it’s embarrassing when a life-changing plan
doesn’t work out, but at least I trried it and my priorities are in a better
place. I love knowing I can be with my family, including my baby nephew, in
under an hour. And I meet my husband Boz during my first week back. We’d never
have crossed paths if I hadn’t come home, so I’m forever thankful that I
changed my mind. As beautiful as Antigua is. I’ve learned that the real
substance or life is where your loved ones are, and I’ll never take that for
granted.”
“I called off my wedding weeks before the big day”
Patricia Dente Haimes, 37, FROM London, is creator of Little
BU. She lives with her husband Matthew, 42, and their six-month-old son,
Grayson.
“The proposal was just as I had dreamed: Edwin was on bended
knee on a rooftop terrace in Florence, asking me to marry him. In hindsight,
his speech lacked emotion, but I was too dazzled by the three-carat diamond
ring and excitement of finally getting married to notice. We’d met at
university, where I fell for his confidence and good looks. Over the year, I
convinced myself we were meant to be together.
Patricia Dente
Haimes
We decided to get married in Tuscany the following year. I
spent weeks hand-making my invitations and found a stunning Carolina Herrera
wedding dress. But at a fitting, nine months into our engagement, I looked at
my beautiful gown in the mirror and had the sickening feeling that marrying
Edwin might not be the right decision.
We had started living separate lives. Edwin wasn’t
interested in the wedding and the physical side of our relationship was
non-existent, but we’d spent $30,000 on fees and deposits, and everyone’s
flights were booked. One day, seven weeks before the wedding. I came home early
as a romantic surprise; his lack of enthusiasm was like a kick in the stomach.
We had a row and I told him it was over. He didn’t put up a flight, which
confirmed everything, so I drove to my sister’s to drop the bombshell that the
wedding was off.
When I found out
Edwin had taken another woman on our honeymoon. I booked an Eat-Pray-Love-type
trip alone to Costa Rica, Hawaii and Mexico. I came back refreshed and ready to
move on.
I was overwhelmed with shame. I broke the news in tears to
my closest friends and my mum worked her way through the rest of the guest
list. The aftermath of he break-up was horrendous, especially when I found out
Edwin had taken another woman on our honeymoon. I booked an Eat-Pray-Love-type
trip alone to Costa Rica, Hawaii and Mexico. I came back refreshed and ready to
move on.
Had I gone ahead, we’d have divorced within months. Changing
my mind, especially so publicly, was the hardest thing I’ve been through, but
it led me to my husband Matthew. We met on a blind date three year later and
got married in Kensington Town Hall in 2010 with just four guests. It was
perfect. I gave birth to Grayson in January and count myself incredibly lucky
not to have got what I once thought I wanted.”
