Even the best diet and fitness plans can go
awry when you don't have the support of your nearest and dearest. Try these
tips.
Does your partner tempt you with a trip for
gelato when he knows you're trying to eat healthier? Does he suggest a movie
instead when you say you want to catch a spin class before dinner?
"Having a partner who doesn't support
your goals can be the biggest roadblock to your success," says
nutritionist Cynthia Sass, author of the Your Diet Is Driving Me Crazy: When
Food Conflicts Get in the Way of Your Love Life. "Your partner may feel
left out or threatened that you are changing a familiar routine." To ease
the transition, she suggests discussing the changes you want to make in a
non-confrontational manner. "Tell your partner how important it is for you
to make these healthy changes," she says. It may be because you want to
lower your risk for health problems, not because you want to impress someone
else by losing kilos. Also, you may want to mention that exercising regularly
will help boost your mood - and make you better company for your weekly date
night.
Does
your partner tempt you with a trip for gelato when he knows you're trying to
eat healthier?
I negotiate a solution
Find ways to keep your resolutions while
accommodating your partner's needs. For instance, one of Sass's clients didn't
want to give up spending time in the evening with her husband in order to work
out, so she started taking three 10-minute power walks a day. If your partner
feels left out when you go to the gym after work, invite him along or suggest
an activity you can do with him, such as cycling or basketball. Or try cooking
low-fat meals together.
Look for outside support
If you can't get the reinforcement you need
to stay on track, you have to find it elsewhere. "Having a workout buddy,
hiring a trainer or even keeping a fitness log can give you the support you
aren't getting from your partner," Sass says.
1 minute shape-overs
Problem
Your partner resents that your new habits
leave no room for Friday night pizza dates.
Try this!
You eat one slice of pizza along with a big
salad and enjoy your time together.
Problem
You're tired of preparing two meals –
something with meat and potatoes, for him and a low-fat meal for yourself.
Try this!
You prepare lean meat and extra portions of
low-fat side dishes that you both enjoy.
Problem
Your partner gives you a guilt trip for
going to the gym after work instead of coming straight home.
Try this!
You explain that exercise after work boosts
your energy and mood in the evening, and then invite him to join you.
The Case for Crushes
Smitten with someone even though you're
taken? "If you're not detaching from your mate or acting on your interest,
there's no cause for alarm," says couples therapist Debra Castaldo. In
fact, these feelings can help reboot your own relationship. Try using them to:
Boost your confidencea flirty exchange with
a good-looking guy can remind you that you're a desirable woman. Embrace your
outer beauty by surprising your partner (and yourself) with some lingerie.
"Nothing turns a man on more than seeing a woman proudly flaunt her
body," says Castaldo. "He won't be able to keep his hands off of
you"
"Nothing
turns a man on more than seeing a woman proudly flaunt her body,"
Get frisky between the sheets "When
you're in a committed relationship, sex often becomes stale," says
Castaldo. Being attracted to someone else can reignite your erotic side and
embolden you to experiment with a new position or fulfill a fantasy with your
lover.
Feel more sexually satisfied Not only is it
acceptable to think about another man while you're with your own, but it can
also be incredibly arousing, says Castaldo. Next time you're in the heat of the
moment, let your mind wander to your dream guy; the extra stimulation can
improve your chances of reaching orgasm.
