The DIY generation
For a lot of women, porn isn’t a solo or
passive activity. Instead, they’re making their own, and finding it’s a fun or
exciting way to bond with their partners; 46% of you admit to having sent sexy
pictures to someone, and 16% have got naked over Skype or your webcam. The bad
news? While in the past you could limit circulation by holding on to the
negatives, digital and mobile technology offer no such assurances. And although
only 4% of Glamour’s sexters reported that their photos had turned up somewhere
they didn’t want them to, for that 4%, the sense of breach of trust “can be
deeply shocking and abusive”, says Quilliam.
Just ask Tulisa Contostavlos. When footage
of her in “an intimate moment” with an ex-boyfriend surfaced in the internet
earlier this year, she stated that she had loved and trusted her then boyfriend,
Justin Edwards, and now felt “deeply betrayed”, although Edwards denied he’d
posted in. And no matter how trustworthy your ex, things can go badly wrong,
and phones and computers do get stolen. If you’re in the slightest bit worried,
caution and the delete button are your friends.
How we’re talking about it (or not…)
“I wouldn’t necessarily mention watching
porn to my friends, as I know a lot of women are very against it. I don’t like
to attract the anger of the militant anti-porn feminists!” Layla, 24
While we’re now more comfortable using porn
(and filling in online surveys about it), one thing most of us still aren’t
comfortable with is talking about it. “I think there’s still a taboo around
women watching porn,” says Harriet. “Maybe it’s because it’s still awkward to
talk about female masturbation, and mentioning porn is clearly stating not only
that you masturbate, but that you actively set out to do so.” Interestingly, we
get more relaxed about it as we get older. Women aged 40+ may be less likely to
have looked at pornography than their younger counterparts (81% compared with
91% of 25-29 year olds), but they’re much more likely to talk about it, with
33% happy to dish on their porn habits versus 16% of 18-24 year olds. And, in a
recent survey by Relate and Ann Summers, older respondents were more positive
about the impact of porn on their sexual relationships than younger ones.
I’m not a fan. Does that make me a
prude?
Not everyone likes porn: 20% of you told us
you though it was “dirty”, while 15% described it as “ridiculous” and 13% said
it was “degrading”. It’s also not unusual to use it and feel conflicted. You
might find it arousing, but also think it’s unrealistic (like 46% of GLAMOUR
readers). You might find some images or storylines exciting, think others are
sexist and gross, and find others plain boring. But just as using porn doesn’t
make you a deviant, not watching it doesn’t make you a prude or mean you’re not
in touch with your sexuality.
Oh, OK. We’ll let a guy have his say, too…
Show me a man who doesn’t like porn and
I’ll show you a liar, says self-confessed fan Tom Latchem
You all know how it goes: “Of course I
don’t watch porn. I only have eyes for you.” That, of course, is nonsense.
Porn accounts for a shopping 12% of
websites, and I’ve never met a man for whom the above statement is true. But
what’s without doubt is that porn with its impossibly beautiful, shaven porn
stars has changed a lot. I feel sorry for the youngsters of today. There was
something rather innocent about the jazz mag format. As a kid, it was almost a
rite of passage to find one stashed in a bush. And what you found inside if you
could prise open the pages was quite tame. Photo shoots would start off with a
fully clothed, fairly normal looking woman who shed her clothes page by page,
before ending up showing her noony, often as hairy as nature intended. Hardcore
porn just wasn’t widely available.
Porn
accounts for a shopping 12% of websites, and I’ve never met a man for whom the
above statement is true
Those days have gone. So I asked my
friends. Alex, a thirty something in long-term relationship, said, “I love sex
with my girlfriend, but we have a normal sex life. I like watching things we
don’t do like threesomes and anal sex.”
Peter, in his twenties, likes, “the girl next
door look” and says his wife doesn’t mind him watching porn.
Another friend, Owen, who’s engaged,
watches ‘Jerk-Off Encouragement’ (JOE), where women in various states of
undress talk dirty, but don’t have sex. “Watching women being humiliated was
damaging my sex life,” he said. “I found myself copying some of what I’d seen,
and realised this wasn’t a good thing. But with JOE, the woman is in charge, so
I’m guilt free.
Thankfully, Owen was mature enough to
realise sex with a partner is different to hardcore porn. But not everyone is
that sensible hence MPs’ concerns. In case the government does decide to limit
access to porn, and in lieu of proper sex education in schools, I’ve got a plan
: I’ll by a load of Mags, stick the pages together with glue and throw them
into bushes.”
Female friendly porn and where to find it
Ms Naughty’s porn blog (masnaughty.com) is
the ultimate female friendly porn portal, with links to suit almost any taste.
Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium (sh-womenstore.com)
offers free online delivery across the UK.
Feminist friendly website For the Girls
(forthegirls.com) features sexy photos, movies, articles and advice.
Cliterati (cliterati.co.uk) offers a wide
choice of fiction, alongside woman-oriented books and toys.
Award winning erotic film director Erika
Lust (erikalust.com) makes films that excite and educate.
Britain’s got porn
Readers in Scotland are most likely to make
watching porn a solo adventure…
… Whereas 55% of readers in North West England
have watched it with a partner. Which is probably why 49% say it’s inspired
them to try a new position.
Porn to go? Readers in Northern Ireland are
most likely to use their mobile phone to access it
36% of Welsh respondents enjoy reading or
watching role play 10% more than any other are.
Readers in the South West are the most
likely to pay for porn, and 59% have been sent nude photos by a partner.
32% of readers in the North East enjoy
watching oral sex and 17% have got naked over Skype.
Respondents in the Midlands are most likely
to use porn to get them in the mood (40% use it for this purpose)
A third of East Anglian respondents enjoy
girl on girl action and it’s inspired 13% to try it
A quarter of readers from the South East
have made a sex video and 57% have sent or would consider sending naked pics to
someone.
