If you are unlucky to meet a sassy daughter-in-law, it might
be hard to see a solution for everything. Communication might break while you
do not want to lose your son and your grandchildren. Calm down, set the
relationship step to step.
Dealing with a sassy daughter-in-law
Sympathy
Show sympathy, patience and knowledge. As an advisor said,
you could never change other people, the way they act, behavior, but you always
can control your experience, act and behavior.
Every mother used to be a daughter-in-law, so you really
need to consider every problem which you used to have with your mother-in-law.
And you also need to know the circumstances might cause your daughter-in-law’s
certain behavior, no matter how her personality is.
Give her some time, patience, and knowledge, are really
necessary when relationship falls apart.
Listen and think
Learn how to listen and think while your daughter-in-law is
being sassy. As a psychologist said, listen and think is a good skill to build
a close relationship between two people and also support communication. If your
daughter-in-law begins to complain, and behave aggressive, calmly represent her
basic idea of what she just said.
For example, if she said “I will raise my kids the way which
I feel suitable”, you can respond, “so, you want to be free to make decision as
a mother?” This process can help avoid meaningless argument and help her to
know you understand.
Stay calm. Listen
and think while she is being sassy
Limit
Set strong and clear limit. When one person’s behavior is
unacceptable, or even worse, abusive, you have to set a limit to protect
yourself. This is necessary for any hope about a healthy relationship, and if
your daughter-in-law does not respect your limit, stay calm, listen and think,
and be assertive. Make a list of her behaviors which cross your limit, such as,
yelling, abusing, lies, talking behind your back. If you make it clear at first
about her negative behaviors which you can forgive, you can make others think
that way too.
Set strong and
clear limit
Hope
Do not give up on hoping you can create a healthy and
positive relationship with your daughter-in-law. In a study was published in
“gerontologist” in 1999, researchers from Beaver university in Pennsylvania
(which become Arcadia university in 2001) did research about the differences
between daughters and daughter-in-law in taking care of their parents-in-law.
The daughters-in-law have the same experiences when they take care of their
parents-in-law just like daughters take care of their parents. Researchers
confirm that parents or parents-in-law is not an important feature in the
relationship between mothers and daughter-in-law/daughters. Continue improving
the quality of communication with her – there is such nothing we cannot change
communicating, knowledge and sympathy without development.
Do not give up on
her
