Women

The DIY generation

For a lot of women, porn isn’t a solo or passive activity. Instead, they’re making their own, and finding it’s a fun or exciting way to bond with their partners; 46% of you admit to having sent sexy pictures to someone, and 16% have got naked over Skype or your webcam. The bad news? While in the past you could limit circulation by holding on to the negatives, digital and mobile technology offer no such assurances. And although only 4% of Glamour’s sexters reported that their photos had turned up somewhere they didn’t want them to, for that 4%, the sense of breach of trust “can be deeply shocking and abusive”, says Quilliam.

Just ask Tulisa Contostavlos. When footage of her in “an intimate moment” with an ex-boyfriend surfaced in the internet earlier this year, she stated that she had loved and trusted her then boyfriend, Justin Edwards, and now felt “deeply betrayed”, although Edwards denied he’d posted in. And no matter how trustworthy your ex, things can go badly wrong, and phones and computers do get stolen. If you’re in the slightest bit worried, caution and the delete button are your friends.

How we’re talking about it (or not…)

“I wouldn’t necessarily mention watching porn to my friends, as I know a lot of women are very against it. I don’t like to attract the anger of the militant anti-porn feminists!” Layla, 24

Description: How we’re talking about it

While we’re now more comfortable using porn (and filling in online surveys about it), one thing most of us still aren’t comfortable with is talking about it. “I think there’s still a taboo around women watching porn,” says Harriet. “Maybe it’s because it’s still awkward to talk about female masturbation, and mentioning porn is clearly stating not only that you masturbate, but that you actively set out to do so.” Interestingly, we get more relaxed about it as we get older. Women aged 40+ may be less likely to have looked at pornography than their younger counterparts (81% compared with 91% of 25-29 year olds), but they’re much more likely to talk about it, with 33% happy to dish on their porn habits versus 16% of 18-24 year olds. And, in a recent survey by Relate and Ann Summers, older respondents were more positive about the impact of porn on their sexual relationships than younger ones.

I’m not a fan. Does that make me a prude?

Not everyone likes porn: 20% of you told us you though it was “dirty”, while 15% described it as “ridiculous” and 13% said it was “degrading”. It’s also not unusual to use it and feel conflicted. You might find it arousing, but also think it’s unrealistic (like 46% of GLAMOUR readers). You might find some images or storylines exciting, think others are sexist and gross, and find others plain boring. But just as using porn doesn’t make you a deviant, not watching it doesn’t make you a prude or mean you’re not in touch with your sexuality.

Oh, OK. We’ll let a guy have his say, too…

Show me a man who doesn’t like porn and I’ll show you a liar, says self-confessed fan Tom Latchem

You all know how it goes: “Of course I don’t watch porn. I only have eyes for you.” That, of course, is nonsense.

Porn accounts for a shopping 12% of websites, and I’ve never met a man for whom the above statement is true. But what’s without doubt is that porn with its impossibly beautiful, shaven porn stars has changed a lot. I feel sorry for the youngsters of today. There was something rather innocent about the jazz mag format. As a kid, it was almost a rite of passage to find one stashed in a bush. And what you found inside if you could prise open the pages was quite tame. Photo shoots would start off with a fully clothed, fairly normal looking woman who shed her clothes page by page, before ending up showing her noony, often as hairy as nature intended. Hardcore porn just wasn’t widely available.

Description: Porn accounts for a shopping 12% of websites, and I’ve never met a man for whom the above statement is true

Porn accounts for a shopping 12% of websites, and I’ve never met a man for whom the above statement is true

Those days have gone. So I asked my friends. Alex, a thirty something in long-term relationship, said, “I love sex with my girlfriend, but we have a normal sex life. I like watching things we don’t do like threesomes and anal sex.”

Peter, in his twenties, likes, “the girl next door look” and says his wife doesn’t mind him watching porn.

Another friend, Owen, who’s engaged, watches ‘Jerk-Off Encouragement’ (JOE), where women in various states of undress talk dirty, but don’t have sex. “Watching women being humiliated was damaging my sex life,” he said. “I found myself copying some of what I’d seen, and realised this wasn’t a good thing. But with JOE, the woman is in charge, so I’m guilt free.

Thankfully, Owen was mature enough to realise sex with a partner is different to hardcore porn. But not everyone is that sensible hence MPs’ concerns. In case the government does decide to limit access to porn, and in lieu of proper sex education in schools, I’ve got a plan : I’ll by a load of Mags, stick the pages together with glue and throw them into bushes.”

Female friendly porn and where to find it

Ms Naughty’s porn blog (masnaughty.com) is the ultimate female friendly porn portal, with links to suit almost any taste.

Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium (sh-womenstore.com) offers free online delivery across the UK.

Feminist friendly website For the Girls (forthegirls.com) features sexy photos, movies, articles and advice.

Cliterati (cliterati.co.uk) offers a wide choice of fiction, alongside woman-oriented books and toys.

Award winning erotic film director Erika Lust (erikalust.com) makes films that excite and educate.

Britain’s got porn

Readers in Scotland are most likely to make watching porn a solo adventure…

… Whereas 55% of readers in North West England have watched it with a partner. Which is probably why 49% say it’s inspired them to try a new position.

Porn to go? Readers in Northern Ireland are most likely to use their mobile phone to access it

36% of Welsh respondents enjoy reading or watching role play 10% more than any other are.

Readers in the South West are the most likely to pay for porn, and 59% have been sent nude photos by a partner.

32% of readers in the North East enjoy watching oral sex and 17% have got naked over Skype.

Respondents in the Midlands are most likely to use porn to get them in the mood (40% use it for this purpose)

A third of East Anglian respondents enjoy girl on girl action and it’s inspired 13% to try it

A quarter of readers from the South East have made a sex video and 57% have sent or would consider sending naked pics to someone.

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