You want others to appreciate you
William James said, “The deepest principle
in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
Have you heard the story about the young
politician’s first campaign speech? He was very eager to make an impression on
his audience, but when he arrived at the auditorium, he found only one man
sitting there. He waited, hoping more people would show up, but none did.
Finally he said to the one man in the audience, “Look, I’m just a young
politician starting out. Do you think I ought to deliver this speech or dismiss
the meeting?”
You
want others to appreciate you
The man thought a moment and replied, “Sir,
I’m just a cowhand. All I know is cows. Of course, I do know that if I took a
load of hay down to the pasture and only one cow came, I’d feed it!”
Principle:
We cannot underestimate the value of a single person.
With the advice from the cowhand, the
politician began his speech and talked on anh on for two hours as the cowhand
sat expressionless. Finally he stopped and asked the cowhand if the speech was
all right.
The man said, “Sir, I am just a cowhand.
All I know is cows. Of course, I do know that if I took a load of hay down to
the pasture and only one cow came up, I surely wouldn’t dump the whole load on
him.”
Principle:
Don’t take advantage of people.
I.C Staehle, after analyzing many surveys,
found that the principle causes of unrest among workers were the following,
listed in order of their importance:
1.
Failure to give credit for suggestions
2.
Failure to correct grievances
3.
Failure to encourage
4.
Criticizing employees in front of other people
5.
Failure to ask employees their opinions
6.
Failure to inform employees of their progress
7.
Favoritism
Notice that every single item has to do
with the failure to recognize the importance of the employee. We’re talking
about people needing appreciation. I try to apply this principle every time I
meet a person. Within the first thirty seconds of conversation, I truly to say
something that shows I appreciate and affirm that person. It sets the tone of
the rest of our time together. Even a quick affirmation will give people a
sense of value.
Treat
others as you want them to treat you
Treat others as you want them to treat you.
Treat them as if they are important; they will respond according to the way
that you perceive them. Most of us think wonderful things about people, but
they never know it. Too many of us tend to be tight-fisted with our praise.
It’s of no value if all you do is think it; it becomes valuable when you impart
it.
You want others to forgive you
Almost all emotional problems and stress
come from unresolved conflicts and failure to have developed right
relationships with people. Because of this, many people have a deep desire for
total forgiveness. A forgiving spirit is the one basic, necessary ingredient
for a solid relationship. Forgiveness frees us from guilt and allows us to
interact positively with other people.
A
forgiving spirit is the one basic, necessary ingredient for a solid
relationship.
Earnest Hemingway, in his short story, “The
Capital of the World,” tells the story about a fatheer and his teenage son who
lived in Spain. Their relationship became strained, eventually shattered, and
the son ran away from home. The father began a long journey in search of the
lost and rebellious son, finally putting an ad in the Madrid newspaper as a
last resort. His son’s name was Paco, a very common name in Spain. The ad
simply read: “Dear Paco, meet me in front of the Madrid newspaper tomorrow at noon.
All is forgiven. I love you.” As Hemingway writes, the next day at noon in
front of the newspaper office there were 800 “Pacos” all seeking forgiveness.
There are countless Pacos in the world who
want more than anything else to be forgiven.
The unfortunate truth is that many of us,
instead of offering total forgiveness, pray something like this Irish Prayer:
May those who
love us, love us;
And those who
don’t love us
May God turn
their hearts;
And if He
doesn’t their hearts,
May He turn
their ankles,
So we’ll know them
by their limping.
People who find it difficult to forgive
don’t see themselves realistically. They are either terribly arrogant or
tremendously insecure. Though hanging onto a grudge gives some people a feeling
of satisfaction, the truth is people who do not forgive are hurting themselves
much more than they’re hurting others. A person who possesses this characteristic
and keeps score in relationships is a person who is emotionally wired to carry
all the stress that goes with carrying grudges.
Forgiveness should be given as quickly and
as totally as possible. Do it now. Don’t be in the position of the young man
who no longer has the opportunity to communicate with his parents. Because of
his procrastination he will never experience the joy of their forgiveness and
reconciliation.
