When the scale comes between you and your relationship?

Look back at your wedding pictures. Do you find yourself unable to recognize the slim, vital people saying their vows, and wondering how they could have been replaced by the more - ahem - well-padded people populating your current family albums?

If your answer is "yes", you'll probably find yourself in good company. It's a sad fact that the bodies we moaned about in our twenties come to seem beautiful with the passage of time.

Lila Bruk, a Johannesburg-based dietician, explains: "The body naturally loses muscle mass as we age. Our metabolic rate is largely determined by the amount of muscle in our body - so, as we age, we burn calories more slowly and it becomes more difficult to keep the weight off."

Of course, there are other reasons why your post-wedding self appears to have little in common, from a physical perspective, with that of your days as a singleton. Psychologist Lorian Phillips notes: "As a single person, you may have been aware of the need to 'market' yourself by always looking your best."

It might sound callous to say that the pressure's off once you've snagged your man, and while, certainly, no one would advise a new bride that she can now start letting herself go, there are steps that can be taken. However, life coach Judy Klipin (www.judyklipin.com) points out that the life of a singleton is rather different from that of her married counterparts. "When you're single, you spend a lot of time out and about - meeting friends, stopping somewhere for drinks, going to gym. Married women, on the other hand, are likely to spend more time at home."

Description: Weight MATTERS


Instead of grabbing a bowl of cereal for supper, you'll probably tuck into a hearty meal - not forgetting all those nights nesting on the couch with the buttered popcorn.

"Often, people fall into the trap of thinking, 'if I were better, things would be better'," Klipin continues, adding that this is something that may particularly affect single women who feel that their lives would improve if they were more attractive or accomplished. "In this sense, the contentment and complacency that married people may succumb to isn't a bad thing."

The weighty situation often intensifies after pregnancy, when some women battle to shed their "pregnancy pounds". Somehow, in between trying to keep up with work and children's schedules, losing those kilograms becomes less of a priority. Putting them on seems all too easy, however - who hasn't nibbled a bit of whatever's on their child's plate in a bid to get him to eat, or finished off the leftovers, rather than waste them?

At the same time, says Klipin, women have a tendency to put the needs of others before their own, so while you may be picking up the groceries and making sure that the kids get to their extramurals on time, the hour that you'd scheduled for gym slips by unnoticed. And if you have to grab a salty snack to keep you going, because there simply isn't time for anything more nutritious, well, that's just the way it is, isn't it?

“As a single person, you may have been aware of the need to ‘market’ yourself by always looking your best”

Just The "Weigh" It Is

For some people, this is no big deal. No doubt you have friends who chuckle over how they "really shouldn't", while gleefully unwrapping a Ferrero Rocher. Sure, they don't look the same as they did 10 years ago, but they're not particularly fussed. On the other hand, says Phillips, women who tend towards "perfectionism" might view the kilogram creep in a more serious light. Perhaps they're the ones who, every morning, bombard their husbands with the dreaded question: "Do I look fat in this?"

"After my second caesar, it took far longer for my stomach muscles to knit together. Although my husband wasn't concerned about it, I nagged him every day about my appearance. It came to be a real irritation for him. Eventually, when I asked if we could start trying for our third child, one of his concerns was that I would put him through the same process," recalls Gina*, a Cape Town estate agent.

For other women, weight gain is devastating. If, as Klipin has suggested, it has come about through self-neglect, there are already subconscious negative perceptions at play. "If you are always putting yourself last, what does that say about your self-worth and your sense of importance?" Klipin asks. Throw in the lack of confidence that many of us feel when having an "off day", and it's easy to understand how feelings of shame may arise, ultimately leading to social withdrawal.

“A friend’s comments about our appearance won’t have nearly as much impact as a partner’s because of the sexual dynamic between men and women”

Top search
- 6 Ways To Have a Natural Miscarriage
- Foods That Cause Miscarriage
- Losing Weight In A Week With Honey
- Can You Eat Crab Meat During Pregnancy?
- Grape Is Pregnant Women’s Friend
- 4 Kinds Of Fruit That Can Increase Risk Of Miscarriage
- Some Drinks Pregnant Women Should Say No With
- Signs Proving You Have Boy Pregnancy
- Why Do Pregnant Women Have Stomachache When Eating?
- Top Foods That Pregnant Women Should Be Careful Of
- 6 Kinds Of Vegetable That Increase Risk Of Miscarriage
- The Natural Way (Part 3) - Associations
- The Natural Way (Part 2) - Organic vs Synthetic Products
- The Natural Way (Part 1) - Natural vs Organic
- Welcome to your Second Trimester (part 20)
- Welcome to your Second Trimester (part 19)
- Fit to EAT (Part 2) - Post-Workout Eating
- Fit to EAT (Part 1) - Pre-Workout Eating
- Chemical Peels for a Youthful, Glowing Skin
- My natural FIRST-AID KIT
- Mood SHIFTERS : How your hormones affect your mood
Top keywords
Miscarriage Pregnant Pregnancy Pregnancy day by day Pregnancy week by week Losing Weight Stress Placenta Makeup Collection
Top 5
- 5 Ways to Support Your Baby Development
- 5 Tips for Safe Exercise During Pregnancy
- Four Natural Ways Alternative Medicine Can Help You Get Pregnant (part 2)
- Four Natural Ways Alternative Medicine Can Help You Get Pregnant (part 1)
- Is Your Mental Health Causing You to Gain Weight (part 2) - Bipolar Disorder Associated with Weight Gain