The moms we surveyed say that money is their biggest
stressor. It makes sense; the U.S. Census Bureau reports that in the years
since the official end of the recession, the American family’s household income
has fallen 4 percent, nearly the same decrease as during the recession itself.
Gaining control through help from a financial expert or library books about
money management will make a difference. So will a change in perspective.
Don’t let finance
freak you out
Question what’s “essential.” “I want to know that my kids
have everything they need,” one mom said. But look closely at wants vs. needs.
“Most of what you think your kid should have is unnecessary," says Parents
advisor Wendy Mogel, Ph.D., author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee.
Share. Swap child care with a friend, or organize toy trades
or neighborhood potlucks. “People feel isolated when it comes to money
worries,” says Dale Atkins, Ph.D., author of Sanity Savers. “Helping each other
erases that lonesome feeling and gives you a sense of control.”
Don’t shop for sport. Even though money worries are your
biggest anxiety producer, when we asked respondents how they relax, one of the
most popular answers was shopping! Instead, find other ways to zone out.
Stop stress eating
When you're on the food ledge, Parents advisor Elisa Zied,
R.D.N., a nutritionist in New York City, suggests these ways to talk yourself
down. Wait it out. Take 15 minutes. Go for a walk, snuggle with your partner,
knit, and paint your toes. Doing something else can distract you from your craving.
Eat – but in your mind only. In one study at Carnegie Mellon University, in
Pittsburgh, when people merely imagined eating a food such as cheese, they
subsequently ate less of the food they’d imagined eating. Brush, floss, and
rinse with mouthwash, or have a strong mint or a piece of sugarless gum. The
routine may also help you convince yourself that eating time is over now that
your teeth are cleaner. If all else fails, indulge in your craving but in the
right portion size. Measure out a 5-ounce glass of wine, serve yourself one
scoop of your favorite ice cream, or have one snack-size bag of chips.
Eat – but in your
mind only
78 percent of moms consume comfort foods at least once a week
to help them relax.
Some days it
really feels like a high-wire act, doesn't it?
Be the boss
Many moms report that the daily tasks that irritate them
most involve catering to family members’ needs. “Resist taking the roles of Sherpa,
butler, crabby concierge, short-order cook, talent agent, and hospital staffer
wiping the bottom of people old enough to do it themselves,” says Dr. Mogel.
Some ways to lay down the law:
Don’t snap to attention every time someone makes a demand.
“Kids aren’t hothouse flowers; they’re hardy perennials,” Dr. Mogel points out.
“Let them be cold, wet, or hungry for more than a second and they’ll appreciate
the chance to be warm, dry, and fed.”
Assign a task the next time you feel mom martyrdom creeping
in. “It’s the worst thing in the world to feel resentful,” says Dr. Atkins.
Annoyed that no one sees that stuff on the stairs except you? Don’t sigh dramatically
as you haul it off – delegate the job to someone else.
When that doesn’t work, practice selective perfectionism.
“Deal with the one or two things that bug you most and force yourself to let
everything else go,” says Parents advisor Alice Domar, Ph.D., author of Live a
Little: Breaking the Rules Won’t Break Your Health.
