Want to up the ante between the sheets? Then
it may be time to tune in to the male member. Here’s what every penis wishes
you knew
The penis is a mysterious, magical organ
(yes, appearance can be deceiving), but because you don’t have the appendage
yourself, it can be tricky to figure out how to make – and keep – it happy.
Which is good for you too, since the deeper your understanding of how it works,
the more satisfied and connected you’ll both feel. With that in mind, listen to
what his penis would say if it could speak.
“Step away from the ruler, please”
When a man makes the big reveal, you may
not fall in love at first sight, but most penises end up being roughly the same
length when they’re at attention, regardless of their size when soft. On
average, a flaccid penis is 10cm long, while a erect one is 15cm; but even
those that start out a bit smaller tend to catch up in the end. For most women,
satisfaction has more to do with how hard and responsive (how quickly aroused)
a penis is rather than how long it is. So unless he is abnormally small and has
what’s called a micropenis – which is extremely rare – or is unusually large,
size just isn’t as much of an issue as many women (and men) think it is.
“I’m not that picky – try anything…”
Your guy definitely appreciates it when you
break out that complicated move you spotted in the Kama Sutra, but you actually
don’t need to break a sweat to get him off. The penis responds most
dramatically to direct contact. It’s exquisitely sensitive, especially the
glans (or head) which is where Mother Nature located the principal nerve ending
that produce a guy’s sexual pleasure and orgasm. Exactly what kind of touch
will arouse a particular man is a matter of individual preference, conditioning
and circumstances. Some men like it soft and gentle, while others prefer a
vigorous, even rough, stroke. Some respond to the friction of a dry touch;
others favour a moist one. Some find slow, rhythmic movement a turn-on, while
the rest go wild over rapid, irregular motion. Others like any of these
techniques to different degrees at different times. The point is that the penis
is supremely grateful for pretty much any kind of attention, so don’t be shy –
test different grips to see what type of handling your man responds to most
enthusiastically.
“When I’m nervous, you can help”
Few issues have a more chilling effect on a
between-the-sheets session than performance anxiety. Of course, there are
medical reasons your guy may peter out mind-act – including diabetes, heart
disease, hormonal disorders and the side effects of medication – but nine times
out of 10, the leading cause of penis failure is between his ears, not his
legs.
Self-doubt travels from the brain to the
penis in a flash, so whether you are with a man for the first time (and you’re
an unfamiliar partner) or he feels pressure to measure up to some hypothetical
sexual standard, his penis may let him down. Once he starts worrying about
whether he’ll be able to get or stay hard, he may become clumsy, forget about
doing the things that excite you, or become too distracted to even feel the
kisses and strokes you’re bestowing upon him. You know the rest.
When you sense he’s tensing up, encourage
him to stop what he’s doing and tell you about whatever anxiety he’s feeling.
It happens to all men, and your acceptance is going to mean a lot to him.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, candour will improve the situation by defusing
stress. You can do your part by reassuring him, calming him down and taking the
pressure off. And if you don’t succeed, try again and again and again (And
again)
“I like it hot”
When it comes to penis potency, hot is
better than cold. (Which is why it’s a good thing more couples honeymoon in
Mauritius than Antarctica) When the penis gets hit with cold air or water (and
sometimes even cooling lube), the skin contracts, the testicles retract.
“You can keep me hangin’ on”
You can help your guy last longer with a
couple of simple moves. First, encourage him to do Kegels. Just like you, he
can gain greater control over his orgasms and increase their intensity by
strengthening the muscles in his perineum – the area between the scrotum and
the anus. Give him a tutorial: tell him to contract those muscles, hold the
position for 10 counts and repeat.
Second, if you’re in the heat of the moment
and need to delay his big finish, try the trusty squeeze technique. When your
guy feels he’s close to ejaculation, he should withdraw. Then – and here’s
where you get involved – grip his penis just below the head with your thumb and
forefinger, and squeeze forcefully. This will delay his urge to ejaculate. The
amount of pressure needed varies between men, but don’t be afraid to give him a
good grab – his erect penis can take it. Once the urge has passed, wait a
minute or two before getting back to business. It’s possible he’ll partially
lose his erection after the squeeze, but it’s not a common problem. And if it
happens, don’t panic. His full erection will return shortly, especially when
you give him a little attention.
