“I rise and shine”

Morning sex is an especially good way to break out of your bedroom routine, and it’s a pretty terrific wake-up call (not to knock an a.m. jog). It clears away tension and shakes the cobwebs out of both of your bodies. And your guy’s penis is actually wired for it: a lot of men like sex better bright and early because they experience the so-called morning wood. Overnight, a full bladder compresses the outflow of blood from the pelvic vessels, holding blood in the penis longer than usual. The typical result is a morning erection. Be assured that after a roll in the hay, you’ll both like what you see in the mirror – you’ve set the right tone for a great day!

Description: Description: Morning sex is an especially good way to break out of your bedroom routine

“Sex is my best medicine”

To help ensure prostate health, encourage your guy to get regular doctor’s examinations. Keeping fit will go a long way towards keeping things hot too. Your guy’s arms, legs, back and abdomen are all involved in sex. If they become flabby, his penis risks becoming flabby. In addition, the prostate, like all organs, benefits from exercise, and the best workout it can get is getting off. When your guy ejaculates, his perineal muscles contract violently, which provides a massage of sorts for the prostate gland; that stimulation keeps its ducts open and prevents its internal fluids from becoming stagnant.

Dr Dudley Seth Danoff is the author of Penis Power: The Ultimate Guide To Male Sexual Health

The Hard Truth

Despite how localized an erection appears, it’s actually the result of a complex process that involves the endocrine, muscular, vascular and neurological systems. The penis gets stiff in a series of distinct steps. The first reaction, arousal, occurs when the nerves are stimulated and microscopic blood vessels in the organ begin to dilate. This can be triggered by something your guy sees, hears, smells, feels or imagines. The link is so intimate and immediate, it’s as if the penis has sense organ of its own.

When the brain decides it’s time for the penis to rise to the occasion, it shoots signals down to the lumbar area of the spinal cord. From there, the messages hightail it along a network of nerves to the penis. When they arrive, the tiny muscles within the penile arteries relax and blood rushes in at sex to eight times the normal rate. Your guy’s member then becomes engorged – making it bigger, firmer and more erect. And when everything’s in working order, the penis stays hard long enough to accomplish its goal. That’s because a valve-like mechanism within his unit prevents blood from flowing back out too soon. Once your guy ejaculates – or if his arousal is interrupted for some other reason (see “When I’m nervous, you can help”) – the penis quickly becomes flaccid again.


Kiss & Tell

Elna Rudolph, sexual health practitioner

My partner gave me oral sex all the time when we first got together but he hasn’t for a while now. I’m embarrassed to ask him why. Could it be that he doesn’t like how I taste?

Description: Description: Could it be that he doesn’t like how I taste?

We go through phases in our sexual lives, and your partner is probably just stuck on other things right now. Remind him of your favourite by doing him the favour first. Make sure you’re fresh out of the shower (to ease your own anxieties), then ensure you’re in the right position so he can return the favour. Or tell him about a fantasy you’ve been having of him giving you oral. He’ll no doubt be keen to fulfil this. If that doesn’t work, chat to him. And if it really is about taste (which it rarely is), use a dental dam (available from sex shops). Or place a sheet of cling film (yes, really) over your genitals with loads of lube under it. It still gives a great sensation but is taste-free and has the added benefit of protecting both of you from infections.

My relationship is going well, but I constantly worry we’ll break up. Help!

The fear of losing the person you love most is normal and rational. But constantly worrying about a break-up in a relationship that’s going well isn’t. Are there other things in your life that you’re overly anxious about as well? Do you worry excessively about work or what other people think? If so, your concern might be a symptom of a more generalized anxiety disorder. This can be treated and a few sessions of psychotherapy might help you to understand where this fear comes from and how to deal with it.

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